Uplink(s): [[⭐️ Emotions|Emotions]], [[🧩 Protectors 🛡️|Protectors]], [[💡 Hypo-arousal|Hypo-arousal]], [[Symptoms of Unresolved Trauma|Symptom of Unresolved Trauma]]
Shame is an [[⭐️ Emotions|emotional]] belief that some [[🧩 Exiles 🔒|Exiles]] have about themselves, which our [[🧩 Protectors 🛡️|Protectors]] often remind us of – that they are wrong, broken, defective, unlovable, disgusting, unworthy. These are [[💡 Burdens 🪨|Burdens]].
> [!example] Examples
> ###### Shame Constellations
> - "Don't speak up, you're awful at public speaking." A [[🧩 Protectors 🛡️|Protector]] reminds us of an [[🧩 Exiles 🔒|Exile]] who feels shame.
> - We look in the mirror, cringe, and quickly look away or adjust ourselves. A subtle [[🧩 Protectors 🛡️|Protector]] reminded us of the pain we felt after being shamed for the way we looked, another has us look away from the mirror to get away from the [[🧩 Exiles 🔒|Exile]] who feels it, and another [[🧩 Protectors 🛡️|Protector]] tries to improve our appearance so it won't be triggered again.
> ###### Shaming Statements
> - "I'm so stuck in my head!"
> - "You're so defensive."
> - "You have so much potential."
> - "You're privileged, your life isn't even hard."
> - "The Secret" is a movement to blame people for what's happened to them, that we've "manifested" our misfortune.
- [[💡 Shame]]
- [[💡 Guilt]]
- [[🛡️ Blaming]]
- [[🛡️ Inner-Criticism]]
- [[🛡️ Perfectionism]]
- [[🛡️ Learned Helplessness]]
- [[🛡️ Addiction]]
- [[🛡️ Reactive Protectors]]
- [[💡 Burdens 🪨]],
- [[🔑 Shame can deter, but not motivate]]
- [[🔑 Blame is an attempt to make sense of experience]]
- [[🔑 Guilt is about what we do, Shame is a mistake about who we are]]
- [[🔑 Most burdens revolve around shame]]
- [[🔑 Qualities of Self reverse the effects of shame]]
- [[🔑 Laziness does not exist]]
- [[🔑 Self-Sabotage does not exist]]
- [[🔑 Our symptoms and illnesses are never our fault]]
- [[🔑 All Parts are welcome exactly as they are]]
- Shame both feeds and is dispensed by [[🧩 Protectors 🛡️|Protectors]] who use [[🛡️ Inner-Criticism]].
- Our [[💡 Amygdala]] floods the brain with [[Norepinephrine]] and [[💡 Cortisol]], funneling our resources to survival pathways.
- Shame creates implicit racism -- [[🪨 Racism]].
- and it's typically something we're burdened with in childhood — long before we actually did anything wrong. A socially acceptable way for men to process shame is [[Rage]].
###### Working with Shame
- [[🧘 🎧 Richard Schwartz - Heart Meditation]]
- [[🧘 Loving-Kindness Meditation]]
- [[🧘📺 Tara Brach - Healing Shame]]
- [[🦮 How to work with Inner Critic Constellations]]
- [[☀️ Compassion]]