🔼: [[🕯️ Part-Tending]] ### 🕯️ Being With Being With is essentially an even less methodological version of the [[🧘 Yes Meditation]] or the first four of [[💡 The 6 Fs of Internal Family Systems]]. We just notice a [[💡 Parts|Part]] and observe what they’re doing without judgment and without trying to change it, because [[🔑 All Parts are welcome exactly as they are]]. We might include [[🕯️ Loving Touch]], to strengthen our [[☀️ Connection]] with the [[💡 Parts|Part]], if they're showing up in our [[⭐️ Body|Body]], and let them know they're not alone. > [!example] > When faced with something that feels intolerable or uncomfortable, pause, scan your mind and body, and notice how your parts are showing up. Stay with it exactly as it is for at least 2 minutes before taking action. ###### You belong When a [[💡 Parts|Part]], feeling, sensation, [[⭐️ Emotions]] arises (pleasant or unpleasant), pause, feel it, and gently say to it, "You belong." It’s knowing that there’s a part of us experiencing something difficult. But they aren’t surrounded by people who don’t care about them, they’re at home with someone who dearly loves them and that person is us. It’s a way of experiencing firsthand that [[🕯️ Love]] is healing. We don’t need it to change, we need it to know it belongs. Welcome home. ###### Storm-Sitting > "The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who an tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." > — Henri Nouwen Sitting in discomfort is weight training for life. Parents are often taught to do this for their little ones who struggle with tantrums or great big overwhelming emotions. In those moments the kindest thing a parent can do is to [[🧘 Do Nothing]] but be with their kid without reacting to the tantrum. To allow the child to fully embody and express all their big, loud, overwhelming emotions in the safety and assurance of their cool-headed parent until the emotions pass. We let them scream, cry, wiggle and shake in safety — without engaging with or judging them for what they might say or do. We can be present with [[💡 Parts|Parts]] in the same way. Much of the time our [[💡 Parts|Parts]] don't want anything but to be seen, heard, and accepted — to be attuned to and [[☀️ Connection|☀️ connected]] with without trying to silence, fix, or punish. The emphasis is presence, safety, and patience. We can't always stop or get out of a storm, but we can find an [[🛠 Anchors|🛠 Anchor]] and wait it out in safety. If this doesn't feel doable, we likely need to create more safety or lean into [[🕯️ Pendulation]]. > [!NOTE] > For something like 14 months this was a daily practice, because I often woke up in [[💡 Overwhelm|overwhelm]] and didn’t have the presence of mind or the energy to remember anything I could do. > > I still practice this when I’m feeling [[💡 Emotional Dysregulation|dysregulated]] sometimes — especially during [[Panic Attacks]], [[🛡️ Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)|OCD]] flair-ups, or when my [[Tinnitus]] is especially loud. I notice and acknowledge the emotions and allow them to play out. I don't engage the thoughts that arise but, like a parent understands their toddler, I know those thoughts are my [[💡 Parts|Parts]] expressing their [[⭐️ Emotions|emotions]] and [[💡 Burdens 🪨|Burdens]] and not a reflection of them or reality. ###### See Also - [[🧘 Do Nothing]] [^1]: