🔼: [[💡 Samskara]] ##### Burdens (🪨) Borrowed from [[⭐️ Internal Family Systems|Internal Family Systems]], this is the word assigned to the embodied mistaken beliefs, distress, sensations, and energies through which [[💡 Parts|Parts]] see themselves and the world. [[🔑 Our minds are natural story-tellers]], and burdens are the stories our parts tell about themselves, the mistaken meanings that [[💡 Parts|Parts]] make out of their [[💡 Trauma|traumatic]] or otherwise wounding experiences. They are a kind of residue – stone-like, weighing us down. > [!note] > The various “official” resources on [[⭐️ Internal Family Systems|Internal Family Systems]] refer to Burdens as ”*mistaken* negative beliefs.…” As I’ve explored more deeply, I’ve come to believe this definition is not-quite-accurate. Beliefs don’t have to be negative in order to be burdensome, they just need to be mistaken. They can also be pleasant, and they don’t only come from negative experiences. > > > [!example] > We may have been told by the grown-ups in our lives that we’re absolutely brilliant and are meant to do great world-altering things. Some part of us may then take on the Burden of "I'm the very best and I'm meant to change the world." This is not the same as having [[💡 Protector Parts|Protector Parts]] who over-compensate for a negative Burden of "I'm worthless" through grandiosity and compairson. We may actually have a high self-esteem and yet be burdened by this belief, and we may have [[💡 Protector Parts|Protector Parts]] who use [[🛡️ Avoiding]] to have us turn down people and opportunities that we like the sound of and would actually be quite good for us because they're compensating for this positive Burden – so we're still not fully participating in our lives. > > > If we don’t take this possibility into account, we may miss a large portion of the Burdens we carry. ###### Types of Burdens - [[🪨 Personal Burdens]] - [[🪨 Inherited Burdens]] ###### Keys - We do not need to go through "capital-T Trauma" for [[💡 Parts|Parts]] to pick up burdens.[^3] Sometimes we get them from people or experience that had no malevolent intent at all. - [[🔑 Burdens pollute our system and cut us off from ourselves]] - [[🔑 Most burdens revolve around shame]] - [[🔑 Shame creates the Shadow]] - [[🔑 Blame is an attempt to make sense of experience]] - [[🔑 Not all Parts are burdened]] - [[🔑 Burdened parts are the same age we were at the time of trauma, even if they look older]] - [[🔑 Parts can carry burdens in, on, or around their bodies]].[^3] - [[🔑 One part can have multiple burdens]] - [[🔑 Multiple Exiles can carry the same Burden]] - [[🔑 Parts are not their burdens, roles, or strategies]] - [[🔑 Parts can sometimes be healed just by getting to know them]] - [[🔑 It’s possible for burdens to return]] - [[🔑 Don’t believe everything you think]] ###### The Burdens of Wounded Parts For [[💡 Exiles|Exiles]], burdens are the extreme mistaken negative beliefs, thoughts, emotions, sensations, and energies they have about themselves and the world, and almost all of them are around [[💡 Shame|shame]]. One exile can be stuck in multiple places, having experienced the same or similar traumas multiple times, like an abusive relationship or parental abuse over several years. The exile can hold the pain of that entire relationship as their [[💡 Burdens 🪨|burden]]. While stuck in the past at the point of initial wounding, they may (probably) have continued to pick up burdens throughout our lives and will take us to those places along the way. Some can be wounded even in utero or shortly after birth.[^4] ###### The Burdens of Protector Parts [[💡 Protector Parts|Protectors]] are not always [[💡 Burdens 🪨|burdened]] in the same way [[💡 Exiles|Exile]] are. Usually their burden is one of responsibility, of working exhaustively and expending enormous amounts of time and inner-resources to [[🔑 Protectors are dedicated to maintaining their idea of safety, balance and homeostasis|🔑 keep us safe and stable]]. Most of them will transform into their natural state after their exiles have been [[💡 Unburdening|unburdened]]. Others do carry burdens similar to [[💡 Exiles|Exiles]]. They might believe some or all of those negative things about our [[💡 Exiles|Exiles]]. They may also have worked so hard for so long that they struggle to let go of their role, even after their exiles have been healed. They might carry [[💡 Shame|shame]], regret, or [[💡 Grief|grief]] about what they've had to do to keep us safe or for how long. They might need to be [[💡 Unburdening|unburdened]]. ###### Releasing Burdens Traditionally Burdens are released through what [[⭐️ Internal Family Systems|IFS]] calls an [[💡 Unburdening|unburdening]], but they can also be released spontaneously in the course of our lives, and there’s more than one way to heal. ###### Resources - https://www.attachmentproject.com/early-maladaptive-schemas/ [^1]: [[📖 ✅ Embracing All of You - Compassionate Inquiry Meets Internal Family Systems]] Session Two: Overview of Internal Family Systems [^2]: [[📖 ✅ IFS Online Circle]] Month 3: Working with Exiles & The Trauma Behind the Rage [^3]: [[📖 🟡 Internal Family Systems Therapy, Second Edition]] [^4]: [[📖 ✅ IFS Online Circle]] Month 3: Working with Exiles & The Trauma Behind the Rage - Month 3 with Pam Krause