🔼: [[🧘 IFS Meditations]] # 🛠 Dilemma Meditation[^1] --- > [!Notice] This meditation has been edited from its original source First we get comfortable, take a few [[💨 Elongated Exhalation]]s, and (if it feels safe) close our eyes. Then we think of a dilemma we're facing or one from the past, one in which we experienced some inner-conflict between two parts. And as we rest our attention on this dilemma, we notice the parts on each side of the argument and notice how they interact with each other. And then we notice how we feel toward that conflict or toward each part in the argument. We can get to know each of those parts, one at a time. To do that, we ask one of them to go into a waiting room, somewhere they'll be comfortable, to create some space between the two. We reassure the part in the waiting room that we're going to come back and spend time with them too. We'll get to know the one outside of the room first. Again, we notice what we’re feeling toward them. If we feel anything negative, these feelings are likely from parts allied with the part in the waiting room. We kindly ask the parts associated with those feelings to relax, step aside, and let us get to know it for a few minutes. Let them know that we’re not going to give the part we're getting to know the power to take over and get whatever it wants; we’re just going to try to get to know it, and they are welcome to return once we've finished. We can reassure the part in the waiting room that we're going to give them all the time they need once we're finished here. If we can get to a point of tapping into our curiosity about the one outside of the waiting room, we can follow it and ask the part what they want us to know about their position. Why do they take such a strong position on this issue? What are they afraid would happen if the other side won the argument? As we listen, we don’t have to agree or disagree -- we just let the part know that you understand and respect, that we care about them and what they have to say, that we're here with them and are listening. Notice how they react. After hearing them out for a few minutes or so, we kindly ask the part we’ve been speaking with to go into a second comfortable waiting room. Then we let the other one out so we can get to know them in the same way. Just like the first, we notice what we’re feeling toward them. If we feel anything negative, we ask those parts to give us some space and let us get to know this one for a while too. And again, listen to this part with curiosity and openness, without agreeing or disagreeing. We're just hearing them out, asking why they're so invested in this argument, and what they're afraid would happen if the other side won. After listening to them for a few minutes, ask them if they would be willing to talk to the other part directly. Reassure them that you will be there to mediate and keep things respectful between them. If they aren't willing, that's okay. Thank both parts for their time and slowly exit the meditation. But if they are willing, we invite the other one to come and sit down with the two of you. We can remind them that they’re both a part of us, that they have that in common. Now we just let them talk to each other about this issue. We don't take anyone's side, we're here to observe, to help them get to know each other in a different way, and to make sure they both stay respectful. Watch how they react as they get to know each other. Notice what happens to the dilemma. Once they've finished, or when we're ready to go, we thank both parts for their time and for staying respectful of each other. We let them both know that we'll be checking in with them again soon. Then we make a few small movements to [[Transition out of meditation]] and slowly open our eyes. > [!TIP] Synergistic Meditations > If there were multiple parts involved in this argument, it's worthwhile to try the [[🛠 Parts Map]] in order to become more aware of them. [^1]: [[📖 🟢 No Bad Parts - Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model]] - Exercise: Dilemma Meditation