🔼: [[⭐️ Emotions]] #### Emotional Dysregulation Emotional Dysregulation is the upset that happens when our [[💡 Stress|stress]] becomes *distress* and pushes us beyond the edge of our [[💡 Window of Tolerance|Window of Tolerance]] and into [[💡 Overwhelm|overwhelm]]. It’s when our [[⭐️ Emotions]] become so big and so powerful that they’re difficult to say yes to, difficult to tolerate, difficult to allow ourselves to feel — we start to get reactive or feel out of control. This often happens when the [[💡 Exiles|wounded and hidden parts of us]] have been (consciously or unconsciously) brushed against or exposed — when they’ve been reminded of a wounding experience, when a similar experience happens again, or when they’ve been dragged into the light by force. We're probably [[💡 Blending|blended]], and our [[💡 Reactive Protectors|reactive protectors]] are likely active and trying to soothe our [[💡 Anxiety|anxiety]], [[💡 Fear|fear]], uncertainty, or whatever else we might be feeling. See also: [[💡 Trigger|Trigger]] ##### Keys - 🔑 If we’re feeling overwhelmed or tense or dysregulated, we might be asking too much of ourselves. - [[🔑 Try not to make decisions or problem-solve from a place of fear]] - [[🔑 Emotional dysregulation is normal]] and sometimes even healthy, but chronic dysregulation is a [[Symptoms of Unresolved Trauma|symptom of unresolved trauma]] – of both [[💡 Burdens 🪨|Burdens]] and [[💡 Polarization|polarization]]. - [[🔑 The mind can only hold so much]] - It is when we are suffering that we’re likely to want to stay away from people so that we won’t ‘infect’ them or be a ‘burden’ to them. But this is exactly when we need to connect to safe enough and compassionate others. [[🔑 We need each other]]. We need [[☀️ Connection|☀️ contact]], not [[🛡️ Fixing and Advice Giving]]. The people who love us will want to show up for us. We are not a burden, but we might be carrying one inside of us. The people who love us will be happy to lighten our load. The people who love us will love us when we’re a mess or make a mistake or are overwhelmed and inconvenient to love. When we’re doing well and feel on top of the world, continue building those connections anyway, be a titan for those you care about, use your power and privileges to lift others up. [[✍️ The Myth of Self-Reliance]]. ![[💡 Window of Tolerance#Doors into The Window of Tolerance]] ##### Signs of Emotional Dysregulation | Cognitive Signs | Emotional Signs | Somatic Signs | Social Signs | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | --------------------------------------------------------- | | [[💡 Cognitive Distortions\|Cognitive Distortions]] | [[💡 Nightmares\|Nightmares]], [[Flashblacks]], or [[💡 Trigger\|emotional flashbacks]] | Feeling heavy, sluggish | passive, spacey, less verbal, less responsive | | Thinking and [[⭐️ Learning]] are impossible, impaired [[💡 Memor\|memory]], (‘I can’t think of the word…’) | Agitation, difficulty relaxing, irritability, [[💡 Impulsivity\|Impulsivity]], disruptive, interrupting | Lightheaded, dizzy | Rapid or disorganized speech, jumping from topic-to-topic | | [[💡 Racing Thoughts\|Racing Thoughts]] | An incredible urge to express what’s bothering you | [[💡 Overstimulation\|Overstimulation]], difficulty taking in surroundings | [[Self Sabotage]] | | [[💡 Obsessions\|Obsessions]] | Defensiveness, hypersensitivity, feeling ‘touchy’, fragile, or[[💡 Reactive Protectors\|Reactive]] | Bumping into, tripping over, dropping, or losing things suddenly and notably ofte | Feeling for other people | | [[Intrusive Thoughts]] | [[Rage]] | [[🛡️ Emotional Armoring]], feeling numb in the [[⭐️ Body]] (nose, hands, feet) | | | Blank-mindedness | [[💡 Anxiety\|Anxiety]], [[Panic Attacks]], fear of ‘going crazy’ | Tingling, twitching, [[💡 Tremors\|tremors]] | | | Disorientation, difficulty concentrating, confusion, [[Brain Fog]] | Paranoia, dread, feelings of impending doom | Hot flashes, flushing, sweating, cold sweats | | | Inability to plan | [[💡 Shame\|Shame]] cycles, wanting to disappear, survivor’s guilt | Nausea | | | [[💡 Polarization\|Polarization]] | Hopelessness | High blood pressure, high heart rate, hart palpitations | | | | [[💡 Grief\|Grief]] | Upset stomach, gastro-intestinal issues | | | | Self-doubt, lack of self-trust | Hyperventilation, difficulty breathing, shallow breaths, ‘forgetting’ to breathe | | | | Hyperactivity, Mania | Cold hands & feet | | | | [[💡 Depression\|Depression]], less interest in life, lack of [[meaning]] or [[💡 Motivation\|motivation]], apathy, feeling ‘dead inside’, feeling like nothing matters | [[💡 Chronic Pain\|Chronic Pain]] | | | | Disconnected or isolated, withdrawn, **not asking for help**, chronic shyness, [[🛡️ Avoiding]] | [[💡 Insomnia\|insomnia]] | | | | [[Anhedonia]] | Flaccid muscle tone | | | | | Going pale | | | | | A fixed gaze (‘thousand yard stare’), glassy or unfocused eyes | | | | | Objects appear flat, 2D, or cartoon-like | | | | | Distance distortions | | | | | Visual hyper-clarity or visual fog | | | | | Collapsed posture, [[💡 Fatigue\|Fatigue]] or lethargy, sleepiness | | | | | Trouble with basic [[⭐️ Self-Maintenance]], like showering or adequate eating | | Another major sign of emotional dysregulation is activated [[💡 Protector Parts|Protectors]], noticed by their [[Protector Strategies 🛡️]]: ![[Protector Strategies 🛡️#Common Protector Strategies]] ![[Protector Strategies 🛡️#Extreme Protector Strategies]] ##### See Also - [[💡 Emotional Regulation|Emotional Regulation]] [^1]: