🔼: [[💡 Trailheads]], [[⭐️ Body]]
#### ⭐️ Emotions
Emotions involve a combination of biology, biography, behavior, and backstory.[^1] We process our emotions through our bodies first, and we process both physical pain and emotional pain through our bodies.
Most emotions are emanations from various [[💡 Parts|parts of us]]. Every emotion exists for a reason, and they give us enormous amounts of important information if we only take the time to tend to them from a place of [[☀️ Curiosity]] in order to hear their messages.
The marker for emotional health is that feelings and their intensity make sense and feel appropriate, and an ability to care for those feelings well.
- [[Feelings Are Temporary]]
Don't figure it out, go to it.
[[🛠 Containment]]
[[🔑 Ask, don't speculate]]
%%
Our inner and outer relationships mirror each other. When a child misbehaves or throws a tantrum, the way the caregivers respond is so important. They might be yelled at or sent to their room to be alone or both, but they’re disconnected and sent away, they’re relationally ostracized until they stop being the way they are. But these are children, they don’t know how to attune to their own emotions and they need that attunement. Instead they go away and their anger stews and resentment builds and they start to think they’re bad or unacceptable and need to change in order to stay in connection and love with others.
When we experience anger, or fear, or find ourselves criticizing others or meaning ill will, we have a tendency either to enable it or shut it down, push it away, reject it. We send these parts of ourselves away to be by themselves when what they really need is attunement.
Metta, loving-kindness is simply a wish for all beings, including ourselves, to be at ease.
>“In gladness and safety, may all beings be at ease. Whatever living beings there may be, whether they are weak or strong, omitting none. The great or the mighty, median, short, or small; the seen and the unseen; those living near and far away; those born and to be born — may all beings be at ease. Let none deceive another, or despise any being in any state. Let none through anger or ill will wish harm on another. Even as a mother protects with her life her child, her only child, so with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings. Radiating kindness over the entire world, spreading upwards to the skies and downward to the depths, outward and unbounded, freed from hatred and ill will. Whether standing or walking, sitting or lying down, free from drowsiness, one should sustain this recollection. This is said to be the sublime abiding.”
>— the Buddha
>“The Buddhist attitude is to take care of anger. We don’t suppress it, we don’t run away from it. We just breathe and hold our anger in our arms with utmost tenderness. The anger is no longer alone, it is with our mindfulness. If you keep breathing, mindfulness particles will infiltrate the anger. If you keep shining your compassion and understanding on it, your anger will soon crack and you will be able to look into its depths and see its roots.”
>—Thich Nhat Hanh
The same is true for all of our emotions and the parts of us who feel them. The same is true for a child. Not to shame, argue with, or fix, but tho hold with tenderness and belonging. [[🔑 Compassion is more important than methodology]]. So long as we can offer it that tenderness, that care, we don’t need methodology.
People start to take on relational debt when they don’t express the little wounds they feel. Maybe wait until later, when the emotional charge is subsided.
%%
###### Keys
- [[🔑 Emotional pain reveals our limits]]
- [[🔑 All Parts can experience all emotions]]
###### Basics
- [[💡 Emotional Availability]]
- [[💡 Emotional Granularity]]
- [[💡 Emotional Dysregulation]]
- [[💡 Emotional Regulation]]
- [[🛡️ Emotional Armoring]]
- [[🛡️ Emotional Suppression]]
- [[🛡️ Emotional Repression]]
- [[💡 Introception]]
- [[💡 Primary Emotion]]
- [[💡 Secondary Emotion]]
- [[🕯️ Embodiment]]
- [[🛠 Emotional Asanas]]
- [[🛠 Emotional Journaling]]
- [[🧘 Emotional Release Meditation]]
- [[🕯️ Tending to feelings]]
##### Emotions Inventory
- [[📱 How We Feel]]
> [!NOTE]
> if you have other emotion words that aren’t on this page, including non-english words without an english equivalent, I’d love to know about them.
> [!NOTE] [[⭐ Questions]]
> - What am I not willing to feel?
| Happy | [[💡 Anger\|Angry]] | Sad |
| :-------------------------------------------: | :--------------------------: | :---------------------------------: |
| Playful | Let Down | Hurt |
| Aroused | Betrayed | [[💡 Embarrassment\|Embarrassment]] |
| Cheeky | [[💡 Resentment\|Resentful]] | Disappointed |
| Content | Humiliated | Depressed |
| Free | Disrespected | Inferior |
| Joyous | Ridiculed | Empty |
| Interested | Bigger | [[💡 Guilt\|Guilty]] |
| Curious | Indignant | Remorseful |
| Inquisitive | Violated | [[💡 Shame\|Ashamed]] |
| Proud | Mad | [[💡 Despair\|Despair]] |
| Successful | Furious | Powerless |
| [[☀️ Confidence\|Confident]] | [[💡 Jealousy\|Jealous]] | [[💡 Grief\|Grief]] |
| Accepted | Aggressive | [[☀️ Vulnerability\|Vulnerable]] |
| Respected | Provoked | Fragile |
| Valued | Hostile | Victimized |
| Powerful | Frustrated | Lonely |
| [[☀️ Courage\|Courageous]] | Infuriated | Isolated |
| Creative | Annoyed | Abandoned |
| Peaceful | Distant | Upset |
| Thankful | Withdrawn | [[💡 Bittersweet\|Bittersweet]] |
| Loving | Numb | [[💡 Saudade\|Saudade]] |
| Trusting | Critical | [[💡 Suffering\|Suffering]] |
| Sensitive | Skeptical | Disbelief |
| Intimate | DIsmissive | |
| Optimistic | Irritated | |
| Hopeful | Cranky | |
| Inspired | | |
| Grateful | | |
| [[💡 Righteousness\|Righteous]] | | |
| [[💡 Self-Righteousness\|Self-Righteousness]] | | |
| [[💡 Schadenfreude\|Shadenfreude]] | | |
| [[💡 Sympathetic Joy\|Sympathetic Joy]] | | |
<br>
| Surprised | [[💡 Fear\|Fearful]] | Bad | Disgusted |
| :--: | :--: | :--: | :--: |
| Startled | Scared | [[💡 Boredom\|Bored]] | Disapproving |
| Shocked | Helpless | Indifferent | Judgmental |
| Dismayed | Frightened | Apathetic | Embarrassed |
| Confused | [[💡 Anxiety\|Anxious]] | Busy | Disappointed |
| Perplexed | [[💡 Overwhelm\|Overwhelmed]] | Pressured | Appaled |
| Amazed | Worried | Rushed | Revolted |
| Astonished | Insecure | [[💡 Stress\|Stressed]] | Awful |
| [[💡 Awe\|Awe]] | Inadequate | [[💡 Overwhelm\|Overwhelmed]] | Nauseated |
| Excitement | Inferior | Out of Control | Detestable |
| Eager | Weak | Tired | Repelled |
| Energetic | Worthless | Sleepy | Horrified |
| Cheerful | Insignificant | Unfocused | Hesitant |
| Proud | Rejected | [[💡 Bittersweet\|Bittersweet]] | [[💡 Irreverence\|Irreverent]] |
| Love | Excluded | | |
| Hope | Persecuted | | |
| Content | Threatened | | |
| Peaceful | Nervous | | |
| Relaxed | Exposed | | |
---
###### [[⭐️ Emotions]] When Needs Are Satisfied
> There are no positive or negative [[⭐️ Emotions]], just emotions we feel when our [[⭐️ Needs]] are met and emotions we feel when our needs are not met.
> — Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D.
| Affectionate | Hopeful | Confident | Grateful | Inspired |
| :--: | :--: | :--: | :--: | :--: |
| [[☀️ Compassion\|Compassionate]] | Expectant | Empowered | Appreciative | Amazed |
| Friendly | Encouraged | Open | Moved | [[💡 Awe\|Awe]] |
| Loving | Optimistic | Proud | Thankful | [[💡 Wonder\|Wonder]] |
| Open-hearted | | Safe | Touched | [[💡 Reverence\|Reverence]] |
| [[💡 Sympathy\|Sympathy]] | | Secure | | |
| Tender | | | | |
| Warm | | | | |
<br>
| Engaged | Excited | Peaceful | Exhilarated | Refreshed | Joyful |
| :--: | :--: | :--: | :--: | :--: | :--: |
| Absorned | Amazed | [[☀️ Calm\|Calm]] | Blissful | Enlivened | Amused |
| Alert | Animated | Clear-headed | Ecstatic | Rejuvenated | Delighted |
| Curious | Ardent | Comfortable | Elated | Renewed | Glad |
| Engrossed | Aroused | Centered | Enthralled | Rested | Happy |
| Enchated | Astonished | Content | Exuberant | Restored | Jubilant |
| Entranced | Dazzled | Equanimous | Radiant | Revived | Pleased |
| Fascinated | Eager | Fulfilled | Rapturous | | Tickled |
| Interested | Energetic | Mellow | Thrilled | | |
| Intrigued | Enthusiastic | Quiet | | | |
| Involved | Giddy | Relaxed | | | |
| Spellbound | Invigorated | Relieved | | | |
| Stimulated | Lively | Satisfied | | | |
| | Passionate | Serene | | | |
| | Surprised | Still | | | |
| | Vibrant | Tranquil | | | |
| | | Trusting | | | |
###### [[⭐️ Emotions]] When Needs Are Not Satisfied
| [[💡 Fear\|Afraid]] | Annoyed | [[💡 Anger\|Angry]] | [[☀️ Vulnerability\|Vulnerable]] | Aversion |
| :-----------------: | :---------: | :--------------------------: | :------------------------------: | :-------: |
| Apprehensive | Aggravated | Enraged | Fragile | Animosity |
| [[💡 Dread\|Dread]] | Dismayed | Furious | Guarded | Appalled |
| Foreboding | Disgruntled | Incensed | Helpless | Contempt |
| Frightened | Displeased | Indignant | Insecure | Disgusted |
| Mistrustful | Exasperated | Irate | Leery | Dislike |
| Panicked | Frustrated | Livid | Reserved | Hate |
| Petrified | Impatient | Outraged | Sensitive | Horrified |
| Scared | Irritated | [[💡 Resentment\|Resentful]] | Shaky | Hostile |
| Suspicious | Irked | | | Repulsed |
| Terrified | | | | |
| Wary | | | | |
| Worried | | | | |
<br>
| Confused | [[💡 Disconnection\|Disconnected]] | Yearning | Embarrassed | Fatigued |
| :--------: | :--------------------------------: | :-------------------------: | :-------------------: | :-----------------------: |
| Ambivalent | Alienated | [[💡 Envy\|Envious]] | [[💡 Shame\|Ashamed]] | Beat |
| Baffled | Aloof | [[💡 Jealousy\|Jealous]] | Chagrined | [[💡 Burnout\|Burnt out]] |
| Bewildered | Apathetic | Longing | Flustered | Depleted |
| Dazed | [[💡 Boredom\|Bored]] | [[💡 Nostalgia\|Nostalgic]] | [[💡 Guilt\|Guilty]] | Exhausted |
| Hesitant | Cold | Pining | Mortified | Lethargic |
| Lost | Deteched | Wistful | Self-conscious | Listless |
| Mystified | Distracted | [[💡 Saudade\|Saudade]] | | Sleepy |
| Perplexed | Indifferent | | | Tired |
| Puzzled | Numb | | | Weary |
| Torn | Revmoved | | | Worn out |
| | Uninterested | | | |
| | Withdrawn | | | |
<br>
| Pain | Disquiet | Sad | Tense |
| :----------------------------: | :-------------: | :---------------------: | :----------------------------------------: |
| Agony | Agitated | Depressed | [[💡 Anxiety\|Anxious]] |
| [[💡 Anguish\|Anguished]] | Alarmed | Dejected | Cranky |
| Bereaved | Discombobulated | [[💡 Despair\|Despair]] | [[💡 Emotional Dysregulation\|Distressed]] |
| Devastated | Disconcerted | Despondent | Distraught |
| [[💡 Grief\|Grief]] | Disturbed | Disappointed | Edgy |
| [[💡 Heartbreak\|Heartbroken]] | Perturbed | Discouraged | Fidgety |
| Hurt | Rattled | Disheartened | Frazzled |
| Lonely | Restless | Forlorn | Irritable |
| Miserable | Shocked | Gloomy | Jittery |
| [[💡 Regret\|Regretful]] | Startled | Heavy-hearted | Nervous |
| Remorseful | Surprised | Hopeless | [[💡 Overwhelm\|Overwhelmed]] |
| [[💡 Pity\|Pity]] | Troubled | Melancholy | Restless |
| | Turbulent | Unhappy | [[💡 Stress\|Stressed out]] |
| | Turmoil | Wretched | |
| | Uncomfortable | | |
| | Uneasy | | |
| | Unnerved | | |
| | Unsettled | | |
| | Upset | | |
###### Emotional Heat Maps
###### See Also
- [[⭐ Values]]
- Paper: [Towards a positive cross-cultural lexicography: Enriching our emotional landscape through 216 ‘untranslatable’ words pertaining to wellbeing](https://repository.uel.ac.uk/download/428fcf4872b4cb323d52edc02c468be3682c0336400f5ab9c7e34a7816d922fe/1412177/Lomas%20%282016%29%20-%20Positive%20cross-cultural%20lexicography%20%28uploadable%29.pdf)
[^1]: [[📖 ✅ Atlas of the Heart (Show)]] Episode 1