🔼: [[💡 Cognitive Load]], [[💡 Focus & Concentration]], [[💡 Productivity]] #### 🛠️ Goals & Intentions A goal is an end-state that our efforts are in service to. It gives us [[💡 Focus & Concentration|Focus]] and directionality – our [[💡 Parts|Parts]] organize around them, like a kind of north star to [[⭐️ Individuation|⭐ grow toward]]. Success is not something to be measured by another person's yard stick. It's becoming or achieving something because we wanted to, regardless of whether others desire the same or even see the value in it. Our list of goals and problems is often a list of prerequisites for feeling content to be in the present moment. But we can do that now while we move toward those things. ##### Setting A Goal There is a strange power in knowing what we want and writing it down, in articulating what we want and why. - [[🔑 A goal should be taken seriously but lightly held]] - [[🔑 A goal should be observable]] > [!example] Examples > - Find life purpose, meaning, a sense of direction > - Save money for a car > - Overcome creative blocks > - Stop [[🛡️ People-Pleasing]] > - Be more patient > - Get to know yourself > - Find [[💡 Romantic Relationships|romance]] > - Lose weight > - Set healthy [[🕯️ Boundaries]] > - Skillfully resolve [[💡 Conflict|Conflict]] > - Navigate [[⭐️ Relationships]] > - Become more [[☀️ Compassion|compassionate]] or self-compassionate > - Basically anything ##### Contemplation Our actions have consequences and [[🔑 Small choices are big]], so every goal needs to be unwrapped a bit because they are often [[💡 Parts|Parts]]-driven and not always harmonized with our [[⭐️ Inner-Compass]]. [[💡 Parts|Parts]] see a problem in the world, in our lives, or in ourselves that they want to change, or they develop some kind of aspiration or fixation. By asking questions we tend to unearth deeper underlying concerns, aspirations, and [[⭐ Values]] that are broader than the original goal. We can reframe our intentions to address those, which allows us to approach our goals from many angles instead of just one, or we can meet with the [[💡 Parts|Parts]] and address their underlying concerns internally instead of spending days, months, or even years in pursuit of something that isn't ultimately in alignment. [[🔑 Whether or not we achieve our goals largely depends on where they come from]]. If we're not feeling motivated toward a goal or intention, it's important to consider why we set the goal and how it became so important to us. > [!example] Example Questions > - Why do we want to achieve this? > - For the sake of what? > - What problem would it solve? > - Why do we want to do that? > - What are we wanting to achieve? > - What are the motivations behind our goals? These pitfalls can make it hard to succeed or even doom us to failure. 1. [[💡 Compensatory Goal|Compensatory Goal]] 2. [[💡 Fantasy-Based Goal|Fantasy-Based Goal]] 3. [[💡 Moving Goalposts|Moving Goalposts]] [[🔑 Do not make decisions or problem-solve from a place of fear]] ###### Origins of Goals [[🔑 We need both Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivations]]. However, it's important we either reframe or change the goal so that it *primarily* aligns with [[💡 Intrinsic Motivation|Intrinsic Motivation]]. | | [[💡 Extrinsic Motivation\|Extrinsic (External) Motivation]] | [[💡 Intrinsic Motivation\|Intrinsic (Internal) Motivation]] | | :-----: | :----------------------------------------------------------: | :----------------------------------------------------------: | | Gainful | [[💡 Wants\|Wants]] | [[⭐ Values]] | | Costly | [[💡 Should Statements\|Shoulds]] | [[⭐ Duty]] | | | [[💡 Fear\|Fear]] & [[🛡️ Avoiding\|Avoidance]] | [[🕯️ Love]] | | | [[🛡️ Attachment\|Attachment]] | [[💡 Desires\|Desires]] | | | Reactive | Active | | | "They'll be upset if I say no" | | | | "If I help them, they'll help me" | | | | Chasing satisfaction that never comes | | | | [[Instrumentation]] | | %% - Heart-centered activism vs reactive activism %% ##### Planning and Clarifying Intentions When we have a goal in mind, we want find an ideally enjoyable process oriented in its direction and then [[💡 Process Mindset|focus on the process]] with a [[💡 Growth Mindset|Growth Mindset]]. - [[💡 Productivity]] - [[⭐️ Rest and Restoration]] - Adjust [[⭐️ Life Curation]] to stay [[💡 Focus & Concentration|focused]] and [[💡 Motivation|motivated]]. - [[🛠️ Navigation Journal]] - [[🤝 Become a Client]] ##### Taking Action - [[🔑 Don't stay where you don't want to be]]. Course-correcting is a part of the journey. - Achieving a goal will not leave us forever-fulfilled any more than eating a meal will leave us forever-satiated. Soon after we achieve one, our mind will reach for another to strive toward. This isn’t a bad thing, but it’s a trap to expect to ever find forever happiness from our accomplishments. A goal is fundamentally an end-state we expect will finally allow us to feel content with the present moment, to quench our thirst for striving toward change or improvement, but we can only be satisfied in the present. - ”Success” can be a kind of [[🛡️ Addiction]] — so we continually take time to consider where the goals are coming from and what we expect them to do for us, and then course-correct. A good [[⭐ Questions|⭐️ Question]] to ask might be: ([[F4 — Feel Toward|Feel Toward]]) Can I live my life exactly as it is without needing to change it? If no, get to know the [[💡 Parts|Parts]] of you who have that goal, that striving for change, to [[#Contemplation|find out where it comes from]]. If yes, and this isn’t to say we should, why not do that? Can we say yes to life exactly as it is even while moving toward change? Life is always changing and unfolding, we can only learn to surf and [[🔑 Do the next right thing]]. - The key to happiness is to actually enjoy our [[💡 Process Mindset|Process]] and detach from the outcome. - Whether or not we achieve our goals is secondary to what we learn and how we grow in pursuit of them, secondary to [[⭐️ Individuation]]. **Life is not a game or a race** with a finish line. It cannot be won or finished. [[🔑 Community over Competition]]. - Most of the time the way we approach the world is through a lens of [[Instrumentation]] and [[🪨 Internalized Capitalism]]. [[🔑 Capitalism has a significant negative impact on our relationships]]. [^1]: