🔼: [[💡 Cognitive Distortions]] ##### Black-and-White (Dichotomous) Thinking[^1] The illusion of having only two options, also known as All-or-Nothing Thinking. Adrenaline, [[💡 Fear|fear]], and [[💡 Stress|stress]] make our [[💡 Parts|Parts]] think in binary ways. Black-and-White Thinking is useful because it allows us to easily make sense of things, but it's also a rigidity of thought, and it makes the cosmos feel bland because extremes hide the spectrum. Black-and-White thinking makes things *feel* very clear, but the real [[☀️ Clarity]] comes when we’re able to see the nuances of things. One of the weirdest, most wonderful things about the cosmos is that [[🔑 the deepest truths are kaleidoscopic and paradoxical]] and it doesn't have to be either/or — it's often both/and (see: [[🦮 How to Hold Both]]). When we [[🔑 liberate Parts from the roles they’ve been forced into, so they can be who they’re meant to be]] they become more fluid and less rigid, which gives us more clarity and nuanced perspectives. Despite its simplicity Black-and-White Thinking is difficult to detect because it manifests in so many, often subtle ways. I often need help to recognize it in my own life. > [!Example] Examples > - “Throwing the baby out with the bathwater” > - If we're not a complete success, we think we're a total failure > - Something is either good or bad > - We can believe in science *and* have a spiritual life > - We can get better *and* be dissociated. > - I can care about someone *and* have hurt them > - "Is this right or wrong?" Many dilemmas aren't right or wrong. Sometimes something is either appropriate or inappropriate without having a moral context. > - "We are either the wave or the ocean." We are both. > - "X philosophy/ideology/system is bad, this one is good." There are positive and negative parts of both. > - We can want to help people *and* desire power or wealth. > - We can be angry at someone *and* love them. > - We can be grateful and want improvement > - Breaking a healthy pattern for a while does not mean we've failed or don't take it seriously. It means we're human. ###### Related - [[False Dichotomy]] [^1]: sometimes black and white thinking is okay. Some things are black and white. Don't think in black and white about black and white thinking. Similarly, it’s common to hear “Don’t [[💡 Should Statements|Should]] yourself,” which is itself a should-statement. Shoulds have a place. %%"We commit ourselves to a black & white sobriety so that we may deal with the grey areas of living." –[[🧑🏼‍🤝‍🧑🏾 Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA)]]%%