🔼: [[⭐️ Emotions]] ##### Guilt A word referring to the feeling we get when our [[⭐ Values]] conflict with our thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Guilt is not as a sign we’ve done something harmful or wrong, it’s a sign that we’re stepping outside of our conditioning. Everyone experiences guilt from time-to-time. We hold millions of complex, layered, even contradictory [[Beliefs|beliefs]] that are bound to conflict at some point. [[🕯️ Self-Stewardship|🕯️ Be gentle with yourself]]. - [[🔑 Guilt is about what we do, Shame is a mistake about who we are]] - [[🔑 Guilt is better than resentment, depletion, or burnout]] Guilt is generally healthy, though it's possible to feel undue guilt, like when we're acting in contradiction to family rules that conditioned us to ignore or neglect our higher [[⭐ Values]] and [[⭐️ Needs]] in order to have the value/need of safety and belonging fulfilled. [[🔑 We have a right and responsibility to say No]]. If we were shamed for having needs and getting upset when those needs went unmet, it makes sense for there to be a [[💡 Parts|part of us]] who feels guilty or criticizes us when another part of us feels [[💡 Anger|angry]] or stands up for us or considers asking for what we need or want. > [!FAQ] [[⭐ Questions]] > - When I feel guilty, what am I valuing? Is that [[⭐ Values|⭐ Value]] warped by [[💡 Burdens 🪨|Burdens]]? [[🔑 All Parts can experience all emotions]]. ###### On Guilt - Sometimes it’s okay to say no and let it crumble. 1. Find a thread to follow, something to walk toward. 2. Take a small step, run a tiny experiment. 3. Notice, learn, get unstuck, integrate, adjust. ###### Signs of Burdened Guilt - Apologizing for having [[⭐️ Needs]]. - Feeling guilty for [[⭐️ Community Care#🦮 How to know when you need help, and how to ask|🦮 asking for help]]. - Feeling guilty because we feel like doing something for ourself makes us feel selfish, mean, or bad - rather than because we're acting out of alignment with. ###### Related - [[☀️ Equanimity]] - [[🛡️ Emotional Suppression]] ###### Resources - [[📖 🟢 Internal Family Systems Therapy for Shame and Guilt]]