###### 🔑 Exiles cannot be reasoned out of or simply get over their pain Logical parts often try to reason exiles out of the way they feel. >"It's not like that anymore, we're an adult with resources. Can't you see it's different?" No, they can't. Because for them it's exactly the same, they're stuck. Language and reason won't work. These parts have been told over and over again:[^1] - "It didn't happen like that." - "It wasn't *that* bad." - "How could you feel that way, everything was great." - "That isn't important." - "You're too much." - “You’re exaggerating.” - “Just get over it, you’re stuck in the past.” - "A normal person wouldn't react this way." Even if we have parts who think any of that is true, it will make no difference at all to the parts who carry these wounds. Our emotions develop before our thoughts[^3], and emotions run deeper than thoughts and behavior. We can't reason our way out of our emotions because our emotions are foundational to our reasoning. Our logic grows out of our emotion — not the other way around. [^1]: [[📖 ✅ IFS Online Circle]] Month 3: Working with Exiles & The Trauma Behind the Rage - Month 3 with Pam Krause [^2]: [[📖 ✅ Embracing All of You - Compassionate Inquiry Meets Internal Family Systems]] Session Three: Overview of Compassionate Inquiry