###### 🔑 Exiles have a Drive for Redemption[^1] - [[⭐️ Internal Family Systems|Internal Family Systems]] claims that our [[💡 Exiles|Exiles]] have a ”drive for redemption,” a longing to tell their stories *as they experience it*[^2], to be [[💡 Witnessing|witnessed]], understood, held,[^1] and healed so they can release their [[💡 Burdens 🪨|Burdens]]. "Unfinished business," so to speak. - [[💡 Somatic Experiencing|Somatic Experiencing]] calls this “traumatic reenactment,” an attempt to complete our [[💡 Arousal Cycle|arousal cycle]], thus resolving our trauma. - Freud called this “Repetition Compulsion,” an unconscious tendency to repeat traumatic events or circumstances. - Some people see this as “recreating your childhood.” - Some of these might be shaming oversimplifications. [[🔑 There are no bad Parts|🔑 All parts have benevolent intentions]] — they're just trying to help. Whatever we call it, it can look like a symbolic or literal occurrence, or putting ourselves in situations where something similar is likely to happen again. This can happen in [[💡 Dreams|dreams]] and [[💡 Nightmares|nightmares]], where feelings and memories arise in an attempt to be resolved. Children might recreate the experience through play, adults often see it in their daily lives. - We might have parts who encourage us to seek our jobs that put us in a place similar to the one we were traumatized in. For example, someone with a history of sexual abuse might have parts who want to be a stripper or have an OnlyFans. - We might stay in jobs we hate if we have a boss who treats us similarly to the way our caregivers did. - Our parts might search for people who are somehow similar to the people who hurt them — someone who looks, sounds, behaves, reacts, or speaks like them — and think "If you love me or approve of me, I won't have to feel like this anymore. I could be lovable, I could be good enough." Often just get hurt again. - We might have parts who have frequent similar accidents, hoping they’ll go differently this time. The difference between genuine and "redeeming accidents" are how often they happen and how similar they are. We may have repeated similar accidents or injuries, like sprained ankles, whiplash, or psychosomatic issues.[^3] The link between past experience and present circumstance isn't always obvious. It's possible for our parts to associate a [[💡 Trauma|Traumatic Event]] with something else and then seek that out instead.[^3] More often than not, those parts just get retraumatized or become victims of further abuse, starting a [[💡 Vicious Cycle]].[^3] This is a tendency and not a rule; our parts may [[🛡️ Avoiding|avoid]] some or all of these things instead. [[🔑 Presence can give exiles the healing they seek]] so they don't have to be around those people, places, or situations anymore if they don't want to be. And if they are around them, it won't hurt as much.[^1] [^1]: [[📖 ✅ IFS Online Circle]] Month 2: The Protective System & Fears of the Protectors - Month 2 with Toni [^2]: [[📖 ✅ IFS Online Circle]] Month 3: Working with Exiles & The Trauma Behind the Rage - Month 3 with Pam Krause [^3]: [[📖 🟠 The Healing Trauma Online Course]]