##### 🔑 Go at your pace Rushing our progress is a bit like skateboarding through a museum—we’ll miss a lot and we could get hurt. Each of us has our own individual tempo, whether we’re learning a skill, exploring [[⭐️ Relationships]], our [[⭐️ Self-Becoming]], or [[🦮 How to Recover from Trauma|🦮 our healing]]. Our pace isn’t a choice, it’s unique to our individual body, heart, and mind. Pushing ourselves beyond our capacity can deplete us, lengthen the process, or even lead to [[💡 Burnout|Burnout]]—the sacrifice is almost never worth it. Going at our own pace is what it means to be gentle with and respectful of ourselves. More is not always better. --- [[💡 Somatic Experiencing|Somatic Experiencing]] suggests not fixating on healing or trauma resolution, but on creating safety by [[🕯️ Resourcing]] all we can, *then* [[🕯️ Pendulation|🕯️ turning toward]] the residual energies from within our [[💡 Window of Tolerance|Window of Tolerance]], going [[🕯️ Titration|🕯️ bit-by-bit]]. Afterward, we return to [[🕯️ Resourcing]] and, if we need to, [[💡 Emotional Regulation|Emotional Regulation]]. --- In [[⭐️ Internal Family Systems]] we go at our [[💡 Parts|Parts’]] pace. We [[🕯️ Titration|🕯️ titrate]] by staying [[🕯️ Unblending|unblended]] and going at our parts' pace [[🔑 Presence has no agenda|🔑 without an agenda]]. Every step is taken with permission from all parts involved, and when there’s some part of us who feels uneasy or unsafe, we include and listen to them and meet their [[⭐️ Needs]]. [[💡 Exiles|The wounded parts of us]] have had very little agency in their lives. They've been urged, rushed, bossed around, and rejected. When we work with them, give them all the time, assurance, and reassurance they need. The time it takes to heal them depends on them, not on any prescribed timeline. Go where it feels safe. [[🔑 Progress accumulates]], and by helping less reactive parts, others start to trust us. [[🔑 As Parts start to trust the process, healing speeds up]] on its own. If we start to feel some kind of physical stress, check in. Notice whether some part of you needs [[⭐️ Rest and Restoration|⭐️ Rest]] or something else — they’ll tell us if we have the presence of mind to stop and listen. Remember: [[🔑 Healing is a happening, not a doing]]. When we wound-chase and aggressively fixate on healing as quickly as possible, even when we’re feeling depleted or outside of our [[💡 Window of Tolerance|Window of Tolerance]], it’s important to take a step back, notice the [[💡 Protector Parts|protective parts of us]] who is trying to rush us through, and take care of ourselves. If we go beyond our capacity, our systems will resort to their usual [[Protector Strategies 🛡️]] to help us [[💡 Emotional Regulation|regulate]], which can provoke [[💡 Polarization|polarizations]]. [[🕯️ Resourcing]] is key. Our bodies and minds decide on their own when they’re ready for something to be healed. We can [[🕯️ tending to feelings|🕯️ tend to ourselves]] then. --- - [[🔑 We build capacity by respecting our limits]] - Work on your own timeline. - Slow is smooth and smooth is fast. - Consistency beats intensity — every time. - [[🔑 Listen to your body]] - [[🔑 Presence does not bypass Protectors]] - [[🔑 Do the next right thing]] [^1]: [[📖 ✅ IFS Online Circle]] Month 2: The Protective System & Fears of the Protectors