###### 🔑 Trust your experience and intuition A big part of [[💡 Self-Leadership|Self Leadership]] is learning to tune-into and listen to ourselves — to our [[💡 Parts|Parts]], our gut, our heart, our sense of what’s true for us. > “Take what works and leave the rest.” The Guide is *a* map, not *the* map. It is a collection of insights, discoveries, and learnings, *not* a definitive list of all the answers or a rulebook that I believe everyone else must follow. It is a ‘living document’, a perpetual work-in-progress. [[🔑 Rules and words of wisdom have limited value]]. Be mindful of [[💡 Should Statements|shoulds]] and have-tos. I'm only sharing how I’m orienting myself — what I’ve found useful so far and how I contextualize it. Many of us will have a lot in common, but we cannot standardize being human, and the things that make us unique are important too. There is no such thing as “the average person.” Different things help different people in different ways to different degrees at different times. Ultimately we are our own best teachers, because we are the only ones who can live our lives or read our bodies and minds, which is a skill we are all learning. Listening to ourselves is something we learn to do over time, and it’s okay if we don’t always know what we want or need. We don't have to search for a needle in a haystack and find the exact perfect thing, there are many paths to get where we want to go. [[🔑 Do the next right thing]]. We’ll get there. - [[🔑 Listen to your body]] - Trust your gut. To ignore our [[Intuition]] is to ignore the millions of years of human development. Our thinking and rationality is an addition to our gut, not a replacement for it. We need both. - If something doesn't sit well with you, feel free to ignore it. - If I state something as factually true or untrue, it's still meant to be confirmed by your own experience. Many of the “truths” written here are the fruits of experience, not books or formal teaching, and what’s true for me may not be true for you. Don't take it as dogma, test it. - If something isn’t helpful for you at all, it doesn’t mean you’re wrong or broken. Maybe it’s just more nuanced than what I’m aware of or am able to represent here. - The idea isn’t to find the “best” techniques or the “best” tools, but the ones that work best *for you, right now*. Follow your curiosity, your intuition, your inner-compass, your sense of safety. - [[🔑 The right thing, at the wrong time, is the wrong thing]] When we don’t know how to listen to and trust ourselves, we have a significant chance of being led around by apparent randomness. [[🔑 Awareness can catalyze change]]. We have to attune to our inner-compass and ignore [[💡 Should Statements|Shoulds]] and Rights. - The inner-compass, our subconscious, our intuition is not an unerring voice that knows all, but it does know more about us than we do. As we nurture our relationship to it, it changes – the relationship is reciprocal. - Identifying our [[⭐️ Needs]]. %%- [[🔑 Listen to your body]]; [[📖 People Pleaser]] finding the authentic yes's and no's. Trauma makes it harder to hear those.%% - Continual unearthing and clarification of [[⭐ Values]] and addressing them when they’re mistaken - Form [[⭐️ Community]] and [[⭐️ Relationships]] with kind people who are open to growth %%- Emotional Quotient, [[💡 Emotional Granularity]], Emotional Competence - [[🕯️ Tending to feelings]]%% ![[On Tools, Skills, and Practices...]]