🔼: [[Group Work]] (Pair or Small) ##### Self-Led Feedback Exercise[^1] This an an exercise in giving feedback from an [[🕯️ Unblending|unblended]] state as [[💡 Presence|Presence]] and in receiving feedback with [[🕯️ Mindfulness|🕯️ mindful awareness]] of how our [[💡 Parts|Parts]] respond. ###### Formal Self-Led Feedback Exercise 1. Get into Pairs by counting off or self-selecting partners. 2. Decide who will give feedback and who will receive it. 3. The pairs can talk about what it's like for their [[💡 Parts|Parts]] to perform this exercise – any fear, nervousness, or apprehension. - Option 1: only receive positive feedback and notice [[💡 Parts|Parts]] who reject or disbelieve it. - Option 2: agree receive both a positive observation and a growth challenge. 4. The Receiver can specify an area or topic they'd like feedback on. For example: - "I'd like to hear about times you noticed I was being courageous in the group." (positive) - "Do I seem warm and friendly or standoffish?" (positive/growth challenge) 5. Before commenting, the Giver checks for [[💡 Blending|blending]] by asking themselves, "How am I [[F4 — Feel Toward|feeling toward]] the Receiver right now?" or "What's my motivation for saying this?" 6. Once the Feedback has been given, the Receiver notices how it resonates and how their [[💡 Parts|Parts]] respond or feel. 7. The Receiver might [[🕯️ Journaling|🕯️ Journal]] or create a small [[🛠 Parts Map|🛠 Map]] of how their [[💡 Parts|Parts]] responded. 8. The pair switches roles and performs the exercise again. ###### Informal Self-Led Feedback Exercise 1. If the person giving feedback has not asked permission to do so, the facilitator should ask the Giver to pause and briefly assess the motivation behind the feedback. 3. If the Giver appears to be [[💡 Blending|blended]], the facilitator helps the Giver [[🕯️ Unblending|unblend]] and assess their [[💡 Parts|Part]]'s motivation until the Giver is [[🕯️ Unblending|unblended]] the motivation is truly for the Receiver's growth. 4. If the Giver is still [[💡 Blending|blended]], then it may be better for them to speak for their [[💡 Parts|Parts]] to the facilitator and not give feedback to the other person. 5. If the Giver is [[🕯️ Unblending|unblended]], then the facilitator instructs the Giver to ask the Receiver if they want feedback. 6. The facilitator checks with the Receiver to make sure that they are truly open to feedback and are not just accommodating the Giver. If the Receiver has [[💡 Parts|Parts]] that are accommodating, then is actually "no." 7. If the Giver is [[🕯️ Unblending|unblended]] and the Receiver is open to feedback, then the interchange proceeds and the Receiver tracks how their [[💡 Parts|Parts]] receive the feedback. [^1]: [[📖 🟢 Creating Healing Circles - Using the Internal Family Systems Model in Facilitating Groups]] Ch. 3