🔼: [[💡 Fixed Mindset]], [[💡 Growth Mindset]] ##### 🦮 How to shift from a Fixed Mindset to a Growth Mindset [[🔑 Our mindset has a significant impact on our outcomes]], and this shift will take some experimentation because we are all unique. ###### Mindfulness Practice [[🕯️ Mindfulness]] to notice the [[💡 Fixed Mindset|Fixed Mindset]]. We'll notice [[💡 Thoughts|thoughts]], or even [[⭐️ Emotions]], that are deterministic or trait-based, as opposed to [[💡 Growth Mindset|Growth]]-based. They may even be positive (“I’M SO SMART!”) Look at setbacks and mistakes, hinderances, slip-ups, challenges, doubts. ###### In Action Our reactions to a setbacks evoke negative emotions grounded in a [[💡 Fixed Mindset|Fixed Mindset]]. We don’t argue with them, we don’t tell them they’re wrong, we make sense of and validate their reasoning. We may have a part that says, “I’m a horrible person, I should just be alone forever.” [[💡 Reactive Protectors|Reactive Protectors]] may invalidate with [[🛡️ Fixing and Advice Giving]]. [[💡 Presence|Presence]] is able to [[🔑 All Parts are welcome exactly as they are|🔑 welcome all parts exactly as they are]]. We can just ask why they feel that way, and then mirror it back to demonstrate our understanding and make room for correction or clarification. | Invalidation | Validation | | :--: | :--: | | “You shouldn't be alone! So what if your wife and kids are mad and upset. You're awesome, you’re just too blind to see it.” | "I'm hearing that you made a mistake and your partner is upset and maybe blaming you. Then your kids heard some of that and they're feeling scared and asking questions you don't know how to answer, and that has some part of you feeling like you're a horrible person. Is that right?" | When they feel understood, we validate them. **Validation is *not* agreement**, it's just making sense of thoughts and feelings and acknowledging that their concerns actually matter: "That sounds so stressful and it all happened so fast, it makes sense to me that you would be feeling overwhelmed right now." We can do this for ourselves, internally. *Then* we move into a [[💡 Growth Mindset|Growth Mindset]] via [[🕯️ Reparenting]]. - no one does it perfect the first time - every failure brings me closer to success - we learned something - Next time won’t be exactly the same The experimental part of this arises out of the fact that we can't trick ourselves into a [[💡 Growth Mindset|Growth Mindset]]. Our responses need to be grounded in something we authentically believe, a *recognition* of what's true and not a platitude or some form of emotional invalidation. These phrases aren’t magic words or a prescription or a tool, and we aren't [[🛡 Presence-ing]]. The right words come from [[💡 Presence|Presence]], words we can authentically own. In Summary: - We notice the mindset in action, like the parts arising who believe we’re doomed to failure. - We notice the thoughts we’re telling ourselves: “No point in trying again,” “I have ADHD,” “I can’t do it.” Be [[☀️ Curiosity|☀️ curious]], understand, and validate them. - Then we [[🕯️ Reparenting|🕯️ Reparent]] into a [[💡 Growth Mindset|Growth Mindset]]. We do NOT try to bully our [[💡 Parts|Parts]] into changing, that just causes backlash. Say what's feels true and authentic. Even if we don’t have the authentic supportive response, we’re interrupting the [[💡 Papañca|thought spiral]] that would happen. We get more [[☀️ Clarity]]. [^1]: