🔼: # ⭐️ Needs Many of us define a need as something we require in order to survive. This is true but incomplete – life is about *much more* than survival (we fall apart when we reduce life to survival, which means that reduction is a mistake). "Enough" is not survival. Enough is joyful flourishing. It's iterative and involves a constant [[🔑 Listen to your body|🔑 conversation with your body]] and spirit. Needs are also the prerequisites to feeling safe, connected, and happy in our relationships and our lives – to [[⭐️ Self-Becoming|⭐ bloom to our fullest, strongest, and brightest]]. There are universal needs, but we cannot standardize being human. Our differences matter. Disability matters. Trauma matters. Different people have different needs. We tend to find ways to get our needs met with whatever we’re given. [[🔑 Other people can help us see ourselves]]. Many of us struggle to articulate what our needs are. I believe this is in part because when our caregivers meet our needs, they also reveal them to us—a form of [[Mirroring]]. For example, maybe we grew up in a home where all of our physical needs were taken care of, but our emotional needs largely weren’t. We may not even recognize we have emotional needs or what they are until well into adulthood because they were never revealed to us through care. Many of us have been conditioned to have a [[Scarcity Mindset]], which has us mistaking the things that meet our needs for the needs themselves. We don’t need that particular person, but we do need to be loved. We don’t need that particular job, but we do need to feel secure and competent. We don’t need to be the best, but we do need to feel wanted and appreciated. There will be other people and other opportunities. - 🔑 Our [[💡 Desires]] point toward our needs - No one person will be able to meet all of our needs. - [[🔑 Plants need repotting]] - [[🔑 Emotional pain reveals our limits]] - We all have different support needs, and they fluxuate - [[🔑 Don’t wait for crisis]] %% If the lack of it somehow drains the life out of you, it’s a need? (addiction withdrawals) %% [[The Minimally Good Life]] ##### Basic Universal Needs **Everyone** deserves basic access to food, water, shelter, care, and time. This includes people who are different from us, and it includes those who have harmed others. The old adage "Hurt people, hurt people" is true. It is a person's lack of resources and care and the presence of [[💡 Trauma|Trauma]] that causes people to harm others. Harm is always borne of pain – even if that pain is unfelt. To deny people their basic needs is a form of violence, which creates more harm and perpetuates this [[💡 Vicious Cycle|vicious cycle]]. --- via Rick Hanson: - Safety - Basic survival - Not being attacked - Avoiding harm (not touching a hot stove, avoiding problematic people) - Satisfaction - Having enough to eat - [[Meaning]], like life is worth living - [[🕯️ Savoring]], rewards - [[☀️ Connection]] - Feeling worthy and loved - [[💡 Attachment Theory|Attachment]] - Texting a friend, feeling understood, being kind to others - [[⭐️ Community]], [[⭐️ Relationships]] Most people feel partially satisfied and partially dissatisfied in all their basic needs. Think of childhood aspirations and dreams, and [[🛠️ Goals and Intentions#Contemplation|contemplate them as if they were current goals]]. ##### Examples The list of Universal Needs has grown out of [[🛠️ Nonviolent Communication]]. Here are some links to some versions: [https://sfcommunityliving.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Needs-Handout-NVC-folks.pdf](https://sfcommunityliving.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Needs-Handout-NVC-folks.pdf) From Sofer: [https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5785b85b15d5dbb0fab56c26/t/5e41e77bae7d841bf59cc023/1581377403978/Needs+List-2020.pdf](https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5785b85b15d5dbb0fab56c26/t/5e41e77bae7d841bf59cc023/1581377403978/Needs+List-2020.pdf) [[💡 Human Givens Therapy]] Emotional Needs Audit: https://www.hgi.org.uk/sites/default/files/hgi/Emotional-Needs-Audit.pdf %% - THE 6 HUMAN NEEDS (Tony Robbins) 1. Predictability: assurance you can avoid pain and gain pleasure 2. Variety: the need for the unknown, change, new stimuli 3. Significance: feeling unique, important, special or needed 4. Connection/Love: a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something 5. Growth: an expansion of capacity, capability or understanding 6. Contribution: a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to and supporting others %% | Physical Wellbeing | [[Honesty]] | [[☀️ Connection\|Connection]] | **Leisure/ Relaxation** | Peace | Autonomy | Meaning | | :------------------------------: | :-----------------: | :-----------------------------------: | :-------------------------: | :---------------------: | :-----------------: | :-----------------------: | | Air | [[🕯️ Integrity]] | [[Settling & Acceptance\|Acceptance]] | Adventure<br> | Humor | Beauty | Choice | | Food | Integrity | Affection | Joy | Comunion | Freedom | Celebration of life | | Health | Presence | Appreciation<br> | [[💡 Play\|Play]] | Ease | Independence | Challenge | | [[🕯️ Movement Practices 👟]] | | Attention | Pleasure | Equality | Ease | [[☀️ Clarity]] | | Safety | | Belonging | Rejuvination | [[💡 Harmony\|Harmony]] | Power | Competence | | Shelter | | Cooperation | [[⭐️ Rest and Restoration]] | Inspiration | Self-Responsibility | Consciousness | | Touch | | Communication | [[⭐️ Sleep\|Sleep]] | Order | Space | Contribution | | Water | | Closeness | Fun | | Spontaneity | [[☀️ Creativity]] | | | | [[⭐️ Community\|Community]] | Lauighter | | | Discovery | | **Security** | | Companionship | | | | Efficacy | | Consistency | | [[☀️ Compassion\|Compassion]] | | | | Effictiveness | | Order/Structure | | Consideration | | | | Growth | | Peaceful Surroundings | | Consistency | | | | Hope | | Peace of Mind | | [[💡 Empathy\|Empathy]] | | | | [[⭐️ Learning\|Learning]] | | Protection | | Inclusion | | | | Mourning | | Emotional Safety | | [[💡 Relational Intimacy\|Intimacy]] | | | | Participation | | Stability | | [[🕯️ Love\|Love]] | | | | Purpose | | Trusting | | Sexual Expression | | | | Self-expression | | | | Support | | | | Stimulation | | | | Mutuality | | | | To matter | | | | Nurturing | | | | Understanding | | | | (Self)Respect | | | | | | | | Safety | | | | | | | | Security | | | | | | | | Stability | | | | | | | | Support | | | | | | | | To know | | | | | | | | To be known | | | | | | | | To see | | | | | | | | To be seen | | | | | | | | To understand | | | | | | | | To be understood | | | | | | | | Trust | | | | | | | | Tenderness | | | | | | | | Warmth | | | | | | | | Reassurance | | | | | >"*The feelings and needs presented here are neither exhaustive nor definitive. They are meant as a starting point to support anyone who wishes to engage in a process of deepening self-discovery, and to facilitate greater understanding and connection between people. > >*We hope you found it of benefit. Every day, around the world, CNVC aims to spread and support Nonviolent Communication so all may be inspired to become fluent in this “Language of Life.” May you be inspired to pass it on.*" ![[⭐️ Emotions#⭐️ Emotions When Needs Are Satisfied]] ![[⭐️ Emotions#⭐️ Emotions When Needs Are Not Satisfied]] ###### See Also - [[Non-Negotiables]] - [[⭐️ Self-Maintenance]] - [[⭐️ Self-Care]] - [[⭐️ Community Care]] [^1]: https://www.sociocracyforall.org/nvc-feelings-and-needs-list/