🔼: [[Symptoms of Unresolved Trauma]] # Obsessions A term for persistent, unwanted, intrusive thoughts – like an image, scene, memory, or urge that some [[💡 Parts|Part]] of us won’t stop thinking, saying, or doing, even if several others want them to. They can be difficult to stop or [[🛡️ Self-Distraction|🛡️ distract]] from to the point that they interfere with our lives and cause significant [[💡 Emotional Dysregulation|Distress]]. An obsession feels similar to what I imagine being haunted would feel like. It’s as if the mind has an iron-clad grip on something and refuses to let go of it, but it feels more like whatever thing has taken ahold of us. It’s like the opposite extreme of [[💡 ADHD|ADHD]]. ###### Romantic Obsession [[🔑 Our minds are natural story-tellers]]. The more immediate [[Chemistry]] we have with someone, and the less we know about them, the more space fantasy has to fill the gaps and create a mistaken sense of connection, certainty, and perfection — our ideal person. This is [[🛡️ Projection|Projection]]. When we’re [[💡 Dating|Dating]] and looking for a [[💡 Romantic Relationships|Romantic Relationship]] or life partner or spouse, our [[💡 Attachment Theory|Attachment]] wounds get easily [[💡 Trigger|triggered]] and attachment itself becomes the intention. The solution to these kinds of obsessions and fantasies is to spend more time with the person and raise the level of actual [[💡 Intimacy|Intimacy]], to put real effort into getting to know them, to allow their humanity to take the place of our fantasies about them, and to consider whether there's actual [[Compatibility]]. [[🔑 Do not create people in your mind]]. [^1]: