🔼: [[Symptoms of Unresolved Trauma]], [[🛡️ Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)]] ##### Obsessions A term for persistent, unwanted, [[Intrusive Thoughts]] — like an image, scene, memory, hypothetical, or urge — that magnetizes some [[💡 Parts|part of us]] that gets fixated on it and can’t let it go, even if the rest of us wants them to. An obsession can begin as a small, sudden whisper that gives us pause and a sudden woosh of [[💡 Anxiety|anxiety]]. A part of us starts to investigate it and ask questions about what it means, and then the thought continuously expands until it’s the only thing we can think about because that part of us is absolutely convinced that it’s *really* important and it needs to be figured out *right now*, so we start [[🛡️ Ruminating]]. Obsessions can be difficult to stop or [[🛡️ Self-Distraction|🛡️ distract]] from to the point that they interfere with our lives and cause significant [[💡 Emotional Dysregulation|Distress]]. Repressing obsessions doesn’t work, it just makes them worse because this part of us, trying *so hard* to help us, insists it needs our attention. I've heard obsessions described as "conspiracy theories about yourself." Obsessions feel similar to what I imagine being haunted would feel like. It’s as if the mind has an iron-clad grip on something that gets tighter and tighter — it can feel like whatever thing has taken ahold of us. It’s like the opposite of extreme [[💡 ADHD|ADHD]]. I don’t feel as if I’m obsessed *with* something, I feel like I’m obsessed *by* something. There’s a part of us who has noticed an [[Intrusive Thoughts|intrusive thought]] and believes it’s a problem to be solved or needs an answer, even when neither of those things are true. - [[💡 Earworms|Earworms]] - "What if" - "Look out" - "Don't do" %% Intrusive thoughts are conspiracy theories about yourself; intrusive thoughts are Twitch chat. %% ###### Obsession with Others [[🔑 Our minds are natural story-tellers]]. The more immediate [[Chemistry]] we have with someone, and the less we know about them, the more space fantasy has to fill the gaps and create a mistaken sense of connection, certainty, and perfection — our ideal person. This is [[🛡️ Projection|Projection]]. When we’re [[💡 Dating|Dating]] and looking for a [[💡 Romantic Relationships|Romantic Relationship]] or life partner or spouse, our [[💡 Attachment Theory|Attachment]] wounds get easily [[💡 Trigger|triggered]] and attachment itself becomes the intention. The solution to these kinds of obsessions and fantasies is to spend more time with the person and raise the level of actual [[💡 Relational Intimacy|Intimacy]], to put real effort into getting to know them, to allow their humanity to take the place of our fantasies about them, and to consider whether there's actual [[Compatibility]]. [[🔑 Do not create people in your mind]]. We tend to get obsessed with people we want to become, or with people who have what we want by being who they are. This [[🛡️ Projection#Positive Projection|Positive Projection]]. [^1]: