⬆️: [[Turn Away]], [[🕯️ Pendulation]], [[💡 Resilience|Resilience and Stability]] ###### 🛠 Pendulation Toolkit [[🔑 We aren’t supposed to feel our feelings all the time]], we sometimes need breaks from tending to our [[💡 Parts|parts]] just like any parent needs breaks from doing parent things, just like we need [[⭐️ Rest and Restoration]] after doing difficult things. While [[💡 Emotional Regulation|Emotional Regulation]]‘s purpose is to help feelings to flow, sometimes we’re either so overwhelmed or so depleted or in [[💡 Burnout|Burnout]] that trying to [[🕯️ Tending to feelings|🕯️ turn toward our emotions]] would not be constructive, they can become too much for us to say yes to. In these moments, it may be wise to temporarily turn toward respite. It’s a way to step back from [[💡 Overwhelm|overwhelm]]’s threshold or get back into our [[💡 Window of Tolerance|Window of Tolerance]]. > [!important] If you're currently overwhelmed, see: [[⭐️ Safety Tools and Resources]]. This is not only sometimes necessary, but normal and healthy – such as when we temporarily [[🛡️ Emotional Suppression|🛡️ suppress an emotion]] so we can respond to an emergency without thinking, or when our body numbs pain with adrenaline so we can defend ourselves or escape a dangerous situation, and then lets us feel pain later so we know what needs tending to. We’re not trying to lock our feelings away forever, but to [[🛠 Containment|🛠 contain]] them with the intention to come back and help once we’re better [[🕯️ Resourcing|🕯️ resourced]]. Taking note in something like a [[🛠 Parts Log]] can help us follow-up with them. --- The table below is a collection of suggestions, neither perfect nor definitive, and they can be combined and adjusted. ![[On Tools, Skills, and Practices...]] | [[💡 Therapy\|Therapy]] | Tools | Practices | Assistance & Supports | | :-------------------------------------------------------------------------: | :-----------------------------: | :---------------------------------------: | :----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------: | | [[💡 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy\|Cognitive Behavioral Therapy]] | [[🛠 Sacred Space]] | [[⭐️ Rest and Restoration]] | [[⭐️ Safety Tools and Resources]] | | [[💡 Dialectical Behavior Therapy\|Dialectical Behavior Therapy]] | [[🛠 Anchors]] | [[🧘 See, Hear, Feel Rest]] | [[🛠 Medication]] | | [[💡 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy\|Acceptance and Commitment Therapy]] | [[🛠 Dopamine Menu]] | [[🧘 Loving-Kindness (Metta) Meditation]] | [[🦮 How to Soothe Triggered Parts]] | | | [[🛠 Containment]] | [[🧘 Samatha Meditation]] | [[⭐️ Outdoors]] | | | [[🛡️ Self-Distraction]] | [[🕯️ Pendulation]] | [[⭐️ Co-Regulation]] | | | [[🛠 Safe Place Visualization]] | [[🕯️ Grounding]] | [[🦮 How to Recover from Trauma#Phase 1 Safety and Stabilization\|Safety & Stabalization]] | | | [[🛠️ Cold Exposure]] | [[🕯️ Resourcing]] | [[⭐️ Community Care#🦮 How to know when you need help, and how to ask\|🦮 Ask for help]] | | | | [[🕯️ Breathwork 💨]] | | | | | [[🛠 Self-Soothing]] | | | | | [[🕯️ Simple Morning Practice]] | | | | | [[🕯️ Movement Practices 👟]] | | If learning to [[🕯️ Tending to feelings|🕯️ tend to our feelings]] were like learning to ride a bike, these are what give us the chance to put one foot on the ground when we lose balance. Once we're balanced again, we can turn back to tending. If we just keep using these tools to indefinitely escape our emotions, it’s a form of [[🛡️ Emotional Repression]]. If we do turn back to, follow-up with, or [[🕯️ Tending to feelings|🕯️ tend to them]], it’s a form of [[🕯️ Pendulation]] and [[🕯️ Titration]]%% and helps to [[💡 Cognitive Load#🦮 How to Lighten Your Cognitive Load|🦮 lighten our Cognitive Load]]%%. **Our [[💡 Protector Parts|Protectors]] have potentially decades of practice at their current [[Protector Strategies 🛡️|methods]]. It may take time for them let us try something new or to become as well-practiced they’re accustomed to.** Practicing [[🕯️ Mindfulness]] and [[🕯️ Mindful Moments]] can help us notice impulses and help with the transition. We're not looking for what we 'should' do, but for what appeals and seems to match us in the moment. Different practices are helpful for different people at different times. If we find what works for us ahead of time and practice when we aren't [[💡 Emotional Dysregulation|dysregulated]], we're likely to find it easier to call on them when needed. It might be worthwhile to make a list of the practices that work best for us and keep it somewhere visible, where it doesn't need searching for. [[🔑 Exiles are capable of overwhelming us]], and [[🔑 most parts can choose to not overwhelm us if asked]] but this doesn't always work. If we find ourselves outside of our [[💡 Window of Tolerance|Window of Tolerance]] and more in [[💡 Overwhelm|overwhelm]], and if our [[💡 Parts|Parts]] are unwilling to [[🕯️ Unblending|unblend]], it's because they don't feel safe. Sometimes [[🕯️ Part-Tending|🛠 Parts-attuning practices]] can create that safety, and sometimes we need to do it externally. If these aren't effective enough and more extreme [[💡 Reactive Protectors|Reactive Protectors]] have to do their jobs, please try to have [[☀️ Compassion]] for them and for yourself. [[🔑 There are no bad Parts]], and [[🔑 Everyone everywhere is doing their best all the time|🔑 they're doing the best they can with what they have]]. With time we can learn to notice our subtle signs of [[💡 Emotional Dysregulation|emotional dysregulation]] either tend to parts or use the escape hatch before they get the chance to overwhelm us. [[💡 Emotional Dysregulation|Emotional dysregulation]] will happen less often, be less intense, and last for a shorter duration, which reduces the risk of getting [[💡 Overwhelm|overwhelmed]], [[💡 Trigger|triggered]], or re-traumatized. - [[🔑 Slow down when fear gets involved in a decision]] [^1]: