🔼: [[Protector Strategies 🛡️]], [[🛡️ Performing]] #### Presence-ing / Self-ing (Self-Like Parts) Presence-ing is a [[Protector Strategies 🛡️|Protector Strategy]] we might also call (in [[⭐️ Internal Family Systems|IFS]] terms) “[[💡 Presence|Self]]-ing,” and [[⭐️ Internal Family Systems|IFS]] refers to the [[💡 Protector Parts|Protectors]] who use it as “Self-like Parts.” Some Parts [[⭐ Values|⭐ Value]] and know how powerful and how healing [[💡 Presence#Qualities of Presence|Presence-like qualities]] are and want to use them and other Presence-like behaviors, attitudes, or appearances to [[🔑 Protectors are dedicated to maintaining their idea of safety, balance and homeostasis|🔑 take care of us and our Parts]]. [[⭐️ Internal Family Systems|IFS]] calls them "Self-like Parts," because they can be easily mistaken for [[💡 Presence|Presence ☀️]] (which IFS calls “Self”). They have sometimes been [[💡 Blending|blended]] with us for so long and so involved in our lives that they believe they are [[💡 Presence|Presence ☀️]], not realizing we exist.[^1] But these Parts are not sneaky, duplicitous saboteurs, [[🔑 There are no bad Parts|🔑 they’re trying to help us]]. We might even call them aspirational. When we learn that [[💡 Presence|Presence]] is made up of qualities that heal, these parts can take it to mean that we *must* think, feel, and behave in these particular ways all the time — even when it isn’t authentic — and then *use* this like a tool to heal. - [[🔑 Presence-ing Protectors are not Self-led]] - [[🔑 Presence is effortless and always here]] ##### Signs of Presence-ing ###### Sure Signs The easiest to spot sign of this [[Protector Strategies 🛡️|Protector Strategy 🛡️]] is that we see our present day self interacting with other [[💡 Parts|parts]] of us in our mind's eye. Presence cannot see Presence anymore than a flashlight can be shined on itself. If the "Presence" we see is us, who's looking? Otherwise the key distinction is that Presence-ing, like all [[Protector Strategies 🛡️]], is driven by a change agenda – while [[🔑 Presence has no agenda]]. - We see [[Qualities of Presence ☀️]] as a toolkit to change or [[🛡️ Fixing and Advice Giving|🛡️ fix]] our [[💡 Parts|parts]], to forcefully make them feel better, or to heal them before they’re actually ready. [[💡 Presence|Presence]] can [[🔑 All Parts are welcome exactly as they are|🔑 be with all Parts exactly as they are]] and [[🔑 Go at your pace|🔑 go at their pace]]. - We're determined to get to the [[💡 Exiles|wounded parts of us]], seeing the [[💡 Protector Parts|protective parts of us]] as obstacles. [[🔑 The time we spend with our Protectors is just as valuable as the time we spend with our Exiles]]. - *Trying* to be [[💡 Presence|Presence]]. Efforting to remember the theory and next steps. [[🔑 Presence does not need to be taught how to be Presence]]. [[🔑 Presence is effortless and always here]]. - “Fake it till you make it.” - [[🛡️ Spiritual Bypassing]] - [[🛡️ Spiritual Materialism]] - Grasping Presence-like qualities - [[☀️ Equanimity#🛡 Presence-ing 🛡 Self-like Equanimity|Presence-like Equanimity]] - [[💡 Pity|Pity]], as opposed to [[☀️ Compassion]] ###### Possible Signs - We notice [[Qualities of Presence ☀️]], but we're not feeling very attuned to or connected with our [[💡 Focal Part|Focal Part]]. For example we might feel a lot of love, but that love blocks out the feelings we were looking to connect with. - Sometimes if a part refuses to interact with us or doesn't feel comfortable with us, it's because we're [[💡 Blending|blended]]. Sometimes it's just because they don't know us well enough yet. Relationships take time. [^1]: [[📖 ✅ IFS Online Circle]] Month 2: The Protective System & Fears of the Protectors - Month 3 with Toni Herbine-Blank