🔼: [[💡 Trauma|Trauma]] #### How to Recover from Trauma > [!important] > This note is neither prescriptive nor authoritative. > It is and will continue to be a work-in-progress. Trauma resolution is a journey of both conscious and unconscious healing. This is a gradual, cyclical, circuitous path of safely metabolizing experiences and related [[⭐️ Emotions]] from within our [[💡 Window of Tolerance|Window of Tolerance]], bit-by-bit, and having new experiences that restore us. %% Wound-tending and burden-releasing. Internal and external, solo and communal. Repairing our relationship with ourself, perhaps with others, and new relationships with both others and parts of ourself. All in its own time. %% Recovering from trauma can be like navigating a dark room. It can be disorienting and confusing, we can stub our toes and trip over things if we don’t [[🔑 Go at your pace|🔑 go slowly]], and sometimes even when we do. But sometimes we place a hand on a familiar object and even in the dark know *exactly* where we are and what to do next. [[🔑 We always have choices, even when we can’t see them]], and just because we can't see the way forward doesn’t mean there isn’t one. This Guide began as an attempt at putting my hands on objects — at orienting in the dark. ###### Keys and Remembrances - [[🔑 There is nothing wrong with us]] - [[🔑 Go at your pace]] - [[🔑 Recovery is non-linear and cyclical]] - [[🔑 Trust your experience and intuition]] - [[🔑 We don't have to forgive in order to heal]] - [[🔑 Our mindset has a significant impact on our outcomes]] - [[🔑 Compassion is more important than methodology]] - [[🔑 Everyone everywhere is doing their best all the time]] - [[🔑 We are all blameless]] - [[🔑 There is no such thing as failure]] - [[💡 Kintsugi|Kintsugi]] - [[🔑 Don’t believe everything you think]]. - We do not have to heal every wound to live a fulfilling life - [[🔑 Let the good land]] - Progress, not perfection — [[🔑 Progress accumulates]]. Keep it simple. - Trust the process. [[🔑 Our inner family is an ecosystem]]. When we work on one problem we by extension work on all the others. When we're able to help one part, it influences the entire system. We don't need to believe in ourself, we only need to believe that good seeds grow when they are regularly tended. When they do, we'll believe in ourself a bit more. [[🔑 As Parts start to trust the process, healing speeds up]]. - We can do anything for 24 hours. - Be mindful of [[⭐️ Nutrition|Nutrition]] and [[⭐️ Life Curation]] Trauma recovery is not a battle. [[🔑 Most therapy modalities are Protector trainings]], and most treatments focus on repressing [[Symptoms of Unresolved Trauma|symptoms]] rather than resolving their underlying causes. But [[🔑 there is nothing wrong with us]]. This is not a fight, and [[🔑 There are no bad Parts|🔑 there is no enemy living in our heads]]. This journey is not one of conquest but reconciliation. We’re going to pour [[☀️ Compassion]] into our wounds and appreciation into our strengths, and then we’re going to see what happens. We may feel broken, like we’ve lost ourselves or have never really known ourselves, but the “real us” is not missing, just tucked away for safe keeping. ###### Phase 1: Safety and Stabilization It's important to have supports and [[🕯️ Resourcing|🕯️ Resources]] and to lean on them regularly. - Have [[⭐️ Safety Tools and Resources]] at the ready. - Find [[🕯️ Self-Regulation]] practices that work for you, and call on them *before* you really **need** them. - Practice [[🕯️ Pendulation]] and [[🕯️ Titration]] with a [[🛠 Pendulation Anchor]] or [[🕯️ Resourcing]]. - [[🦮 How to Get Out of a Low-Nurturance Environment]] - Create a [[🛠 Sacred Space]] - Practice [[🛠 Containment]] - Consider adopting a [[💡 Growth Mindset|Growth Mindset]] and a [[💡 Good Enough Mindset|Good Enough Mindset]]. - Practice [[⭐️ Self-Care]] %%[[🕯️ Self-Stewardship]]%% - Practice [[⭐️ Life Curation]] It may sound daunting to do this all on our own, but that isn’t because we’re weak, it’s because [[🔑 we need each other]]. It’s crucial to take steps toward finding [[⭐️ Community]], or being open to one day doing so — we will find help along the way of [[⭐️ Individuation|⭐️ becoming ourselves]]. We need both… - [[⭐️ Self-Care]] and [[⭐️ Community Care]] - [[🕯️ Self-Regulation]] and [[⭐️ Co-Regulation]] ###### Psycho-Education [[🔑 We need both Theory and Practice]]. Some starting points: - [[💡 Therapy|Therapy]] - [[⭐️ Internal Family Systems]] - [[💡 Window of Tolerance|Window of Tolerance]] - [[🕯️ Boundaries]] - [[💡 Emotional Dysregulation|Emotional Dysregulation]] - [[💡 Emotional Regulation|Emotional Regulation]] ###### Resolution There's a common empowering yet reductionistic saying in trauma recovery: "It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility." While not exactly incorrect, it could be correct-er – because we can't be held responsible for what we didn't create and [[🔑 healing is no one person's responsibility]]. And if we happen to be [[💡 Blending|blended]] with one of our [[💡 Parts|inner-kids]], we might notice a sense of dread, fear, or anxiety in response to this, because an inner-child is being told that they need to take responsibility for a pretty big thing! Instead, I prefer to say: It's not your responsibility to heal all [[💡 Parts|parts of you]] all on your own in isolation — it’s just that they ultimately are *yours*. "It takes a village," as they say. Our inner and outer relationships and resources can help us stay within or get back into our [[💡 Window of Tolerance|Window of Tolerance]], and they can be healing on their own — no paid help required. - [[🔑 Healing is a happening, not a doing]] - [[The Goals of Internal Family Systems]] - [[🕯️ Part-Tending]] - Develop [[Proprioception]] and comfort in our [[⭐️ Body]] through mind-body [[Practices 🕯️]] such as [[👟 Asana Practice]] or [[🕯️ Movement Practices 👟]] we enjoy. - For some, their first safe relationship is with [[🦮 How to Find a Therapist|a good therapist]]. But therapy isn't always accessible, and sometimes it doesn't feel safe. Luckily therapy is not a prerequisite to substantial progress. There are several things we can do on our own to make progress, even right away. Remember to [[🕯️ Titration|Be gentle with yourself]] and to create a container around recovery by setting "appointments" with yourself to work on processing [[💡 Trauma|trauma]]. - [[🦮 How to get to know your parts solo]] - Self Education - [[⭐ Life Skills]] we may not have been taught by our caregivers.