🔼: [[💡 Trauma|Trauma]], [[💡 Complex PTSD]] #### How to Recover from Trauma > [!important] > This note is neither prescriptive nor authoritative. > It is and will continue to be a work-in-progress. Trauma resolution is a gradual, cyclical path of safely metabolizing trauma and related emotions from within our [[💡 Window of Tolerance|Window of Tolerance]], bit-by-bit. Included in this is [[⭐️ Self-Care]], [[⭐️ Self-Regulation]], [[⭐️ Self-Maintenance]], and [[⭐️ Community]] which both helps us stay within and get back into our [[💡 Window of Tolerance|Window of Tolerance]], and can be healing in itself. Recovering from trauma can be like navigating a dark room. It can be disorienting and confusing, we can stub our toes and trip over things if we don’t [[🔑 Our Parts set the pace|🔑 go slowly]], and sometimes even when we do. But sometimes we place a hand on a familiar object and even in the dark know *exactly* where we are and what to do next. [[🔑 We always have choices, even when we can’t see them]]. Just because we can't see the way forward doesn’t mean there isn’t one. This Guide is an attempt at putting my hands on objects — at orienting in the dark. ###### Keys and Remembrances - [[🔑 There is nothing wrong with us]] - [[🔑 Our Parts set the pace|🔑 Go at your Parts’ pace]] - [[🔑 Recovery is non-linear and cyclical]] - [[🔑 Trust your experience and intuition]] - [[🔑 We don't have to forgive in order to heal]] - [[🔑 Our mindset has a significant impact on our outcomes]] - [[🔑 Compassion is more important than methodology]] - [[🔑 Everyone everywhere is doing their best all the time]] - [[🔑 We are all blameless]] - [[🔑 We need each other]] - [[🔑 There is no such thing as failure]] - [[💡 Kintsugi|Kintsugi]] - [[🔑 Don’t believe everything you think]]. - [[🔑 Let the good land]] - Progress, not perfection — [[🔑 Progress accumulates]]. Keep it simple. - Trust the process. [[🔑 Our inner family is an ecosystem]]. When we work on one problem we by extension work on all the others. When we're able to help one part, it influences the entire system. We don't need to believe in ourself, we only need to believe that good seeds grow when they are regularly tended. When they do, we'll believe in ourself a bit more. [[🔑 As Parts start to trust the process, healing speeds up]]. - We can do anything for 24 hours. - Be mindful of [[⭐️ Nutrition|Nutrition]] and [[⭐️ Life Curation]] Trauma recovery is not a battle. [[🔑 Most therapy modalities are Protector trainings]], and most treatments focus on [[💡 Emotional Regulation]] and “fixing” [[Symptoms of Unresolved Trauma|symptoms]] rather than resolving their underlying causes. But [[🔑 there is nothing wrong with us]]. This is not a fight, and [[🔑 There are no bad Parts|🔑 there is no enemy living in our heads]]. This journey is not one of conquest but reconciliation. We’re going to pour [[☀️ Compassion]] into our wounds and [[💡 Appreciation]] into our strengths, and then we’re going to see what happens. We may feel broken, like we’ve lost ourselves or never knew who we were, but those parts of us haven’t gone away. They may be working incredibly hard keep us afloat, or they may be hidden, but they aren’t gone — just waiting. It may sound daunting to do this all on our own, but that isn’t because we’re weak, it’s because [[🔑 we need each other]]. We will find help along the way of becoming ourselves. ###### Phase 1: Safety and Stabilization - Have [[⭐️ Safety Tools and Resources]] at the ready. - Find practices in the [[🛠 Protector Toolkit]] that work for you, and call on them *before* you really **need** them. - Practice [[🕯️ Pendulation]] and [[🕯️ Titration]] with a [[🛠 Pendulation Anchor]]. - [[🦮 How to Get Out of a Low-Nurturance Environment]] - Find [[⭐️ Community]] - Create a [[🛠 Recovery Space]] - Practice [[🛠 Containment]] - Adopt a [[💡 Growth Mindset]] and a [[💡 Good Enough Mindset]]. - Prioritize [[⭐️ Self-Love]], [[⭐️ Sleep]], [[⭐️ Rest and Restoration]]. - [[⭐️ Life Curation]] ###### Psycho-Education The guide contains just about everything I know on trauma recovery. I’m still learning, but if I had any right to tell anyone what to do, I would call this list required reading because it helped me escape [[💡 The Sad Gap|the Sad Gap]]. Feel free to ignore it and [[🔑 Trust your experience and intuition]]. I would encourage anyone to follow their curiosity or whatever the answer is to “What do I need *right now*?” [[🔑 We need both Theory and Practice]] - [[💡 Therapy]] - [[⭐️ Internal Family Systems]] - [[💡 Window of Tolerance]] - [[🕯️ Boundaries]] - [[💡 Emotional Dysregulation]] - [[💡 Emotional Regulation]] ###### Resolution It's important to have supports and to tend to them regularly — this is the work those supports are supporting. There's a common empowering yet reductionistic saying in trauma recovery: "It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility." While it isn't exactly incorrect, it could be correct-er – because we can't be held responsible for what we didn't create and [[🔑 healing is no one person's responsibility]]. And if we happen to be [[💡 Blending|blended]] with one of our [[💡 Parts|inner-kids]], we might notice a sense of dread, fear, or anxiety in response to this. Instead, I prefer to say: It's not that it's your responsibility to heal your inner kids all on your own, but they are *yours*. "It takes a village," as they say. - [[The Goals of Internal Family Systems]] - [[🕯️ Parts Practices]] - Develop [[Proprioception]] and comfort in our [[⭐️ Body]] through mind-body [[Practices 🕯️]] such as [[👟 Yoga]] or [[🕯️ Movement and Exercise 👟]] we enjoy. - For some, their first safe relationship is with [[🦮 How to Find a Therapist|a good therapist]]. But therapy isn't always accessible, and sometimes it doesn't feel safe. Luckily therapy is not a prerequisite to substantial progress. There are several things we can do on our own to make progress, even right away. Remember to [[🕯️ Titration|Be gentle with yourself]] and to create [[🕯️ Boundaries]] around recovery by setting "appointments" with yourself to work on processing [[💡 Trauma]]. - [[🦮 How to get to know your parts solo]] - Self Education - [[⭐ Life Skills]] we may not have been taught by our caregivers.