🔼: [[⭐️ Unconditional Self-Love]] #### ⭐️ Self-Care Self-Care is self-nourishment, nurturing ourselves the way we would someone we love, or care from [[💡 Presence|Presence]] to our [[💡 Parts|Parts]]. We attune to our [[💡 Parts|Parts]] and meet their needs. - [[🔑 There is no such thing as Self-Care|🔑 There is no such thing as (traditional) Self-Care]] - [[🔑 Regulation is often mistaken for Care]] - [[🔑 Care, Maintenance, Regulation can overlap and synergize]] - [[⭐️ Emotions]] - [[🔑 Not all pleasure has to be earned]] - [[✍️ The Myth of Self-Reliance]] - [[🔑 We need each other]] - [[🔑 Listen to your body]] - [[🔑 We need Nothing]] ###### Meeting Parts’ Emotional Needs [[💡 Presence|Presence]] can [[🔑 All Parts are welcome exactly as they are|🔑 welcome Parts exactly as they are]] without trying to change them or **make** them feel better. We can simply attune to and be with them as they express their feelings and give them the support they ask of us. In this case, [[💡 Emotional Regulation|Emotional Regulation]] is a *byproduct* of a [[💡 Parts|Part]] feeling [[☀️ Connection|☀️ connected]] to, [[☀️ Compassion|☀️ loved]], and valued by [[💡 Presence|Presence]] — the [[⭐️ Emotions|⭐️ emotion]] is fully experienced and metabolized rather than [[💡 Exiles|Exiled]] through [[⭐️ Self-Regulation]]. [[🕯️ Parts Practices]] can help us learn to meet with our [[💡 Parts|Parts]]. - [[🦮 How to Soothe Triggered Parts]] ###### Self-Care Menu If we do something for someone, without listening to what they actually want, we really do it **to** them, so Self-Care requires getting to know our [[💡 Parts|Parts]] a bit. The key difference between [[⭐️ Self-Regulation]] and [[⭐️ Self-Care]] is that Self Care is about meeting our [[💡 Parts|Parts]] needs, not just making them feel better. In order to meet our needs, we need to know what they are. [[🕯️ Parts Practices]] can help with this, and so can this Self-Care Menu. Self care means allowing your body and your Mindful intuition guide you, and not social media algorithms or wellness gurus, not the Guide. Don't let your feed, notifications, calendar, routine, or associative thinking tell you what to pay attention to or what you need. Check in. > [!info] Self-Care under Capitalism > Self-Care has been largely co-opted by consumerism. For many of us, it means spending money on luxuries and non-essentials all by ourselves. It *can* be that, but not only is that too narrow, but it can very easily turn into [[⭐️ Self-Regulation]], and [[🔑 There is no such thing as Self-Care|🔑 Traditional Self-Care doesn't exist]]. To use the Menu, we read slowly while paying [[🕯️ Mindfulness|🕯️ mindful attention]] to how our [[⭐️ Body]] and our [[💡 Parts|Parts]] respond. We take note of what resonates most — allowing ourselves to intuit what sounds good **right now**. We might even ask ourselves, without thinking about the answer, “Do we want x thing?” or “What sounds good today?” and notice what arises. If the list feels generic or uninteresting, it might as well be empty. If doing whatever "Self-Care thing" wouldn’t be nourishing or enriching, it's not Self-Care! Making a list of things that do feel good to us can help get to know our [[💡 Parts|Parts]] and get better at meeting their needs. These are meant to be expressions of [[☀️ Compassion]], [[🕯️ Love]], and care and *not* an attempt to change our [[💡 Parts|Parts]] or make them feel better. - [[Nurture]] - [[🕯️ Movement and Exercise 👟]] - [[👟 Stretching]] - [[⭐️ Sleep]] or take a nap with a ridiculous number of pillows. - [[⭐️ Rest and Restoration]] - Have a do-nothing day every week. - Massage / [[🛠 Self-Massage]] - A simple skincare routine. - Soak your feet. - Sink into a comfortable chair - Wrap in a cozy blanket - Drive with your windows down - Create an intentional morning routine. - Make relaxation a priority. - Relax in the sun - Cloud watching - Get [[⭐️ Outdoors]], somewhere pretty - Light a candle and watch the flame - [[🕯️ Reparenting]] - [[🧘 Loving-Kindness (Metta) Meditation]] - Nurturing [[⭐️ Relationships]]. - Call a friend we haven't talked to in a while. - Hang out with pets. If we don't have any pets, we could go walk at the park and ask to pet someone else's. - Being nice to a stranger for no reason. - Give affection for no reason. - Cuddling a partner, friend, pet, stuffed animal, or a big fluffy pillow. We can hug ourself and be amused at how adorable we are. - Go [[👟 Walking]] in the park and hug some trees. - [[🕯️ Journaling]] - [[🕯️ Gratitude]] - Look at photos of loved ones - Listen or move to [[🛠 Music]]. - Create a playlist that will get you through rough days. - Read Fiction - Coloring / Art / Pastels - Cute animal videos. - A long, luxurious shower or [[🌿 Herbal Bath]] with music, candles, and smell-goods. [[Aromatherapy]] - Put on comfy clothes - Eating yummy stuff, even something super indulgent from time to time. - Take a selfie - If we're tired, what's something small that might help even a tiny bit? - Herbal tea - Smell some flowers - Smell [[🌿 Lavender]] or vanilla - Light a scented candle - Deeply breathe in fresh air - Open a package of coffee and inhale the aroma - Boil cinnamon - Watch a funny movie or show - Look at photos from a past vacation or somewhere you'd like to visit - Pay attention to the sounds of nature/around you. - [You Feel Like Shit](https://philome.la/jace_harr/you-feel-like-shit-an-interactive-self-care-guide/play/index.html), for when we have no motivation. [^1]: https://www.take5tosavelives.org/practiceselfcare