🔼: [[🕯️ Part-Tending]] ### 🦮 How to get to know your parts solo > [!NOTE] > To say that solo-[[⭐️ Internal Family Systems|IFS]] for [[🦮 How to Recover from Trauma|trauma recovery]] is difficult would be an understatement. I've had multiple [[💡 The IFS Session|IFS Sessions]] after which I said, “There’s no way I could have done that alone.” > > Not everyone has access to paid help, and there have been large stretches of time when I’ve had to go without (as I write this, for example). Further still, when we’re trying to [[🦮 How to Recover from Trauma|recover from trauma]] and suffering from chronic [[💡 Emotional Dysregulation|emotional dysregulation]], fifty minutes a week with a therapist is a drop in the bucket compared to the other 6 days and 23 hours between sessions. > > Not everyone feels safe doing this with anyone who isn’t a certified practitioner. Not everyone knows someone who would be willing, able, or safe enough to do this with as peer support. Some of us may not yet feel safe doing it with anyone at all. I have been all of these people before, so I’ve been experimenting with IFS as a solo practice since starting IFS therapy in April 2021. For now it’s primarily IFS, but will change over time as I include what I learn from other modalities. Getting to know [[💡 Parts|Parts]] is a unique exploration for everyone — we must draw our own maps. This is an ongoing collection of tools and exercises which allow me to traverse my ecosystem in as much safety as possible when I'm alone. It is not intended to be a definitive, perfect list and it will continue to grow and change over time. [[🔑 Trust your experience and intuition]]. #### Getting to Know Parts [[🔑 Traditional IFS is not well-suited for solo work]], but we can make adjustments and still make significant progress while we [[🔑 Restore Parts' trust in Self and in Self-Leadership]]. It may help [[💡 Parts|Parts]] feel safer to complete at least most of these items in [[🦮 How to Recover from Trauma]] before doing solo IFS: ![[🦮 How to Recover from Trauma#Phase 1 Safety and Stabilization]] ##### Step 1: Preparation This is essentially [[💡 Set and Setting|Set and Setting]] – creating an inviting space in which our [[💡 Protector Parts|Protectors]] feel safe to relax and [[🕯️ Unblending|unblend]]. 1. Get to your [[🛠 Sacred Space]] 2. Have at least one but as many [[🛠 Anchors]] as you like nearby and visible. 3. Start with [[🕯️ Resourcing]] 4. Set an intention or ask a question. It could be to learn about your [[💡 Parts|Parts]], what they need, why a situation was so hard for them, or whatever is most alive for you in the moment. 5. Approach this process with [[☀️ Curiosity]], a [[🕯️ Beginner's Mind]]. We don't need to have every answer or to figure everything out. ##### Step 2: Practice [[⭐️ Parts Work]] is less about a process and more about relating to ourselves as an ecosystem, and there are other modalities and tools which can compliment it. These are just options, and it’s important that we check in with ourselves and decide what it is that calls to us on any given day. [[🔑 Trust your experience and intuition]]. Remember: [[🔑 Compassion is more important than methodology]]. It's wise to practice [[🕯️ Resourcing]] during these practices — even if we don't feel like we *need* to. Practicing helps us remember to use it when we actually do need it. - Guided [[🕯️ Meditation 🧘]] - [[🧘 IFS Meditations]] - [[🧘 RAIN Meditation]] - [[🧘 Mindfulness Meditation]] - [[🛠 Solo Parts Work Journal]] > [!TIP] Not sure where to begin? > If you already have a [[💡 Trailheads|Trailhead]] you know you want to look at or a [[💡 Focal Part|Focal Part]] in mind, start there. There may be too many activated parts for us to know where to begin or which parts are around and wanting attention, or we may have limited access to [[Qualities of Presence ☀️]]. The [[🛠 Parts Map]] can help us get a sense of who is here and where to begin. ###### Step 2.5: Closing Before ending, we take a moment to thank our parts for sharing or allowing whatever they, let them know we'll check in with them again, and then ask if there’s anything they need from us in the meantime, and just listen. It's important that we [[🔑 Keep your promises|🔑 keep any promises we make to our parts]], and to not make promises we can't keep. Just be honest. Invite the part to give you a sign if they want your attention if they want it between now and next time – some kind of [[💡 Trailheads|trailhead]] to know them by. ##### Step 3: Integration - If the Part said yes to giving you a signal and then do so, make sure to turn your attention to it and check-in with them. - We can use [[🕯️ Loving Touch]] to nurture [[☀️ Connection]] throughout the day, as a way of letting [[💡 Parts|Parts]] know they aren’t alone. - Learning [[🦮 How to help Parts unblend]] can be life-changing. ![[🕯️ Part-Tending]]