##### How to Soothe Triggered Parts [[On Tools, Skills, and Practices...]] Type: [[⭐️ Internal Family Systems]] Use: [[🕯️ Self-Regulation]] > [!info] > *I translated this list from [[🛠 Pete Walker's 13 Steps to Managing Emotional Flashbacks]] into the [[⭐️ Internal Family Systems|IFS]] framework and have been building onto it since then.* - [[💨 Natural Breath]] - [[🕯️ Being With]] 1. Pause and, if it feels safe, do a [[🧘 Body Scan]] for a few minutes. Recognize that these feelings and sensations come from [[💡 Parts|Parts]]. 2. Just notice them. Observe them. Maybe name some of the emotions. (A [[🛠 Parts Map]] may be helpful). 3. Let this (or these) part(s) know they aren’t alone. Let them know you see them, in whatever way feels right. 4. Ask them to not overwhelm you, and let them know that if they separate from you a little bit you can be with them and will be better able to help them. 5. As you listen, reassure them that you're here, that they're safe with you, and you aren't going anywhere — that they aren't alone. 6. If it’s possible to be curious, ask them why this moment is so hard for them. Invite them to tell you whatever it is they want you to know, and just listen with an open heart, without trying to change or fix them. 7. Remind this little one that they might still be a kid, but you've grown up you've learned a lot. You have some resources and wisdom about how to help them and other parts feel better, and you’re going to help them. 8. Remind them how old you are and that you have friends, allies, skills, and resources now. Maybe list a few of them if you can. If you can’t think of any, remind this part that it won’t always be this way. That there is more to learn, and that your future allies are looking for you too. 9. Ask or intuit what this part needs from you in order to feel safer, even just a little. - You can walk away from a triggering situation. - You can protect this part if they are being mistreated, or invite them into a safe room. - You can go to your [[🛠 Sacred Space]] where they might feel more comfortable and you have ways to [[🛠 Self-Soothing|soothe]] them. - Consider what reassuring words you could offer them. 10. Remind them that while it may feel as if this pain will last forever, it will pass and they will one day be healed. Let them know they can always come to you, that you love them unconditionally exactly as they are, and that you will never abandon them. 11. If you sense any critical or catastrophizing voices, let those parts know they're safe and that you're listening. Acknowledge them, but don't argue with them. - Ask them, "What do you need me to know?" and listen intently, with an open heart. - If what they say makes sense to you, tell them so. - Ask the part, "What do you need in order to feel better?" - What words of comfort can you offer them in response? - Thank the part for their time and for speaking with you, let them know you're grateful for what they do for you. Tell them you have to look after these other parts for now, but that you'll come back and visit with them soon. (Make sure you follow-up.) 12. Let this part know they are safe to grieve or cry and that you will stay with and comfort them through it. 13. If your parts don't want to [[🕯️ Unblending|unblend]], think of a safe person you can reach out to and ask them if their [[💡 Presence]] is available to listen to your parts. When you're feeling better, consider who those people might be and keep a list somewhere easily accessed. If you can't think of anyone, consider finding a [[⭐️ Community]] to make new connections with safe people. 14. Make note of whatever it was that triggered this part in your [[🛠 Parts Log]] to be revisited later with [[🧘 Trigger Practice]] or the [[🕯️ Fire Drill (You-Turn)]]. 15. Breathe deeply and slowly, sending a loving energy to each of the parts you feel in your body. Take your time, there is no hurry. 16. Be patient and practice [[⭐️ Self-Care]]. Ask yourself: what small thing can I do for myself right now? What's the next right thing? It's normal for parts to take a couple of days to settle again. It takes time to learn to soothe and get to know them, but as you spend time with them they will develop trust in you and feel safe sooner and more often. Being triggered is painful, but every event is an opportunity to learn more about our parts and to strengthen our relationships with them. As we work through [[The Goals of Internal Family Systems]], our [[💡 Parts|Parts]] will learn to trust [[💡 Presence|us]] more and won’t so easily be triggered.[^1] ###### Related - [[🧘 🎧 Richard Schwartz - IFS Daily Practice - Unblending and Embodying]] - [[🧘 Exploring a Triggered Part Constellation]] - [[💨 Elongated Exhalation]] - [[💨 Voo Breath]] - [[🛠 Butterfly Hug]] - [[🛠 Music]] [^1]: [[📖 🟢 No Bad Parts - Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model]]