đź: [[đ§ IFS Meditations]]
# Two-Handed Polarization Exercise[^1]
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This exercise helps us spend time with two parts who are [[đĄ Polarization|polarized]] but [[đ There are no bad Parts|đ have benevolent intentions]] to help us. This often happens when weâre making decisions and are feeling pulled in multiple directions.
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With eyes open or closed, take some [[đ¨ Elongated Exhalation]]s. As you breathe in, take a few minutes to see if you can find those parts. Feel into their energy, noticing which part emerges first or second, and gently listen to them. Just notice where they are in or around your body as you welcome them to arise.
As youâre feeling them, take some time to notice if there might be a third part who wants to be involved and try to mediate and help you decide what to do. They might be trying to make the decision quickly or slowly, or they might feel anxious because of the conflict. Just notice and observe the trio.
See if itâs possible to breathe some space into this. If there are other parts coming in to try and help you decide, ask them to step back and give you a little more space.
If you noticed a mediator, rest your attention them. You might say hello or just let them know youâre here. Ask them to relax and to trust you, just let them know you want to spend some time with these two parts, and they can watch nearby if they like. Just ask them for some space to be present with these two parts whoâre in this conflict with each other.
Once they do relax, turn toward the two parts and notice how you feel toward them. See if itâs possible to access some open curiosity to them, without siding with either of them or trying to fix or change them. Just be present with them.
Once some [[Qualities of Presence âď¸]] arise, turn your palms up on your lap, and invite both parts to bring their energy into your hands, one in each palm. This helps them unblend so you can be in relationship with them. You might notice they have thereâs a weight to one or both of them, and they might weight the same or one might be heavier than the other. Just notice what itâs like to hold them.
Again, notice how you feel toward them and send some of your energy to them. Let them know youâll be listening to both, and not just one or the other, giving both your undivided attention.
Then if you have a sense of which part youâll start with, or if theyâre sort of pointing toward who youâll start with, bring your attention to them. Reassure the other part that youâll be listening to them too, and ask them to let you spend time with this other one for now.
Invite the part to tell you about itself. Listen without an agenda, without needing the part to be or feel any way other than they do.
- Whatâs their job or role?
- What do they want you to know about themself?
- Whatâs their intention for you? Their hope for you?
You might notice thereâs some wisdom in what they tell you.
If it makes sense, you might ask what theyâre afraid would happen if you listen to the part in your other hand.
See if that makes sense to you, if you can validate those fears.
- When it feels right, ask them to tell you who theyâre protecting, what theyâre afraid will happen if they step back or relax. Do they protect another part? Ask them to tell you whatever they want you to know.
Again, try to make sense of what theyâre saying, with your heat open to them, making sense of what theyâre trying to do for you, who theyâre protecting, why theyâre afraid of the other part. Try to send some appreciation and compassion to them, and let them know that in a moment youâll be spending time with the other part. Ask what they need from you right now to feel safe and to trust that youâre not leaving them and will be coming back.
When youâre ready, bring your attention to the part in your other hand and thank them for waiting for you. Like the first, ask them to tell you about themself. Their job or role, what theyâre trying to do for you, why theyâre alarmed about the other part. Again, try to listen without an agenda, without needing them to be any different, just stay with them. Just take in everything they want you to know about their role, their fears, or who theyâre protecting. What are they afraid will happen or does happen when you listen to the part in your other hand? Just be receptive.
As they let you know who theyâre protecting, you might notice whether itâs the same part the other is trying to protect or a different part. Send some appreciation and validation to this one for how hard itâs working for you, and try to make sense of why theyâre so opposed to the part in your other hand.
- When it feels right, bring your attention to both hands and see if these two parts are aware of each other and what the other is trying to do for you and for the parts they protect. If they were aware already or what itâs like for them to meet you and each other like this.
See if thereâs anything you want to say to them together, or separately. Any acknowledgements, anything that needs to happen between you and either one of theme or both of them. An intention you want to make or an invitation for them to stay connected with you, an intention to come back another time if this doesnât feel complete.
When you feel ready, invite both parts to move their energy up your arms and back to a place in your body that feels safe and comfortable â maybe your heart. Slowly [[transition out of meditation]]. You may want to take a few notes about what you heard from your parts. What they do, their intention, what they offer you and your system, any intentions you made with them.
[^1]: [[đ â
IFS Online Circle]] Month 4 - Conflicting but Complimentary & Direct Access and In-Sight: A Decision - Exercise: Two Hands Meditation