##### Unattached Burdens[^1] The name 'Unattached Burden' probably brings more confusion than clarity – [[👤 Robert Falconer]] told me he hates it too. [[💡 Burdens 🪨|Burdens]] are embodied mistaken beliefs, distress, sensations, and energies that [[💡 Parts|Parts]] (typically [[💡 Exiles|Exiles]]) have about themselves and the world. Unattached Burdens are *entities* – they appear as "parts" without any positive intention, and they often want nothing more than to hurt us or other people. Unattached Burdens are the opposite of [[💡 Guides|Guides]], they are not [[💡 Parts|Parts]]. They might be in us, but they are not *of* us. - [[🔑 The mind is porous]] - [[🔑 Unattached Burdens have no power if we aren't afraid of them]] - [[🔑 Unattached Burdens can initially help us]] - [[🔑 Unattached Burdens can be two-dimensional or quite complex]] - 🔑 Unattached Burdens are ecosystems. [[💡 Holons]], [[🔑 Parts have Parts]] - They're similar to [[🪨 Inherited Burdens#🪨 Legacy Burdens|🪨 Legacy Burdens]] and the distinctions between the two can be porous or even non-existent as UBs can be passed down as a Legacy – sometimes the dividing line isn't helpful at all. > [!info] Other names for Unattached Burdens > - Critters > - The Others Within > - Spiritual Presences ###### Detecting Unattached Burdens > [!IMPORTANT] These are tendencies and not rules - The surest sign of an Unattached Burden is that while [[🔑 There are no bad Parts|🔑 all Parts have benevolent intentions]], most Unattached Burdens have only ill-intent toward us, our parts, or other people. Not all UBs are fully malevolent, but any entity that is fully malevolent is a UB. - Until you are absolutely certain, assume this is a part and not an Unattached Burden. This is crucial because if we're wrong and we try to eject a part out of ourselves, the entire ecosystem will be dysregulated. We can severely damage our relationships with other parts by making this mistake, and it can take a lot of time to repair. Parts can be viciously critical and highly polarizing and still have a benevolent intention. - If you ask "Are you a part of me?" the overwhelming majority of Unattached Burdens will for some reason be honest and say no. - Does the interaction with the entity leave us feeling more independent, strong, resourced, or capable, or does it leave us feeling depleted and exhausted? - How do they react to your fear? Do they trigger it over and over again for fun? - Does having this thing make you feel like you're better than others? Or worse? - Are polarizations more or less violent toward each other? %% ###### Helping Unattached Burdens Move Along[^2] This list is a basic set of suggestions to give a sense of direction. - Follow the client — follow their imagery, their spiritual orientation, their mythology. Listen deeply. - The most important thing is that you, the therapist, stay in Self. If you lose your curiosity, stop the session and work with your own parts until you are genuinely curious about the client and the client’s process again. - Step 1: Work with fear When you are not afraid of UBs, they lose all their power. Work with your own fear first, as the therapist. Then work with the client’s fear. Two basic methods: —Find each part who is frightened and do classic IFS with it until there is a strong Self-to-part relationship and the part feels secure. —Help the scared parts go to a safe, contained space until the UB is out. - Step 2: Assume it’s a part until proven otherwise “When you hear hoofbeats, don’t think of zebras.” Two basic steps: —Explore the intention. Look for a good intention or positive function. If the initial answers seem negative, ask what’s good about that and drill down for the deeper underlying intention —Have the client ask the being directly, “Are you a part of me?” Don’t let other parts answer. Be calm and persistent. The being might resist answering, but UBs don’t seem to lie about this. - Step 3: Create some distance between the person and the UB —A good conversational distance is best. If the client has trouble creating this distance, help them get in Self by asking how they feel toward the UB. —It is often good to use the light or a ball of light to pull the UB away from the person. Have the client notice if there are any connections, cords, or strings of any kind coming back from the UB to their body. Have the client look inside their body where the cord connects and find the part of them that is allowing the attachment. Develop a Self-to-part relationship with that part until it willingly lets go of the UB. Do this with each connection. - Step 4: Offer healing to the UB Tell it, “We are not here to punish or judge you; we want to send you to a place where you can heal.” It has to leave the client now that no part is allowing it to stay. Make sure it takes all of it soldiers, employees, underlings, and objects with it. Sometimes UBs balk at this stage because they fear punishment by a boss. Call out that boss and deal with it in the same way you’ve dealt with the UB. Send the UB out and watch it until it’s completely gone. - Step 5: Rebalance the system Ask if all the client’s parts are glad it’s gone. Ask, “Does anyone miss it for any reason?” Be kind and nonjudgmental. Having the UB in the system often felt very familiar, and some parts might have a reaction to its absence. Clients can feel disoriented with this energy out of them. Help them rebalance. Be sure the UB is gone from the body, emotions, mind, beliefs, and spirit —and also gone from the exiles, managers, and firefighters. Going through each of these, look for where and how the UB got in and close that entry point. Being fearless and in Self is the best protection. You can also teach the sealing light meditation now. - Step 6: Invite guidance and guides Invite in new energies, perhaps a guide. Fill the empty space. - Step 7: Cleanup Having had a UB in the system will most likely have caused damage to the system. Use classic IFS to work with any hurt parts and their burdens. ~ — location: []() ^ref-288 %% ###### Resources - [[📖 🟡 The Others Within Us - Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession]]. [^1]: [[📖 ✅ IFS Online Circle]] Month 4 - Conflicting but Complimentary & Direct Access and In-Sight: A Decision - Month 4 with Richard Schwartz [^2]: [[📖 🟡 The Others Within Us - Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession]]