#### Unburdening Step 3 or 4 of [[💡 The IFS Process]] Previous step: [[💡 Witnessing]] or [[💡 Retrieval]] An unburdening is a ritual which allows [[💡 Exiles|exiles]] to release the [[💡 Burdens 🪨]] they carry.[^1] It often takes about 20-30 minutes, but take as long as you need. > [!NOTE]- About unburdenings...(skip if in the middle of the process) > - Through unburdening we [[🔑 Liberate Parts from the roles they’ve been forced into, so they can be who they’re meant to be]]. > - [[🔑 Burdens pollute our system and cut us off from ourselves]]. Unburdening reverses it, creating more room for [[💡 Presence]] and [[Qualities of Presence ☀️|☀️ Self-Energy]] so we can [[🔑 Become more Self-led in our interactions with the world]]. > - [[🔑 Unburdening is not always a one-time event]] > - [[🔑 Protectors can let go of their roles when their exiles are unburdened]] > - [[🔑 Unburdening a part doesn't mean we'll never feel bad again]] > - [[Protectors sometimes need to be Witnessed and Unburdened]]. > - [[Direct Access unburdenings are apparently a thing]] > - [[🔑 It’s possible for burdens to return]] > [!NOTE]- Note for Practitioners > Don't interrupt the relationship being formed between Self and part, just instruct the client to ask the question and then to let you know when they get an answer. During the unburdening itself, just wait patently and prompt your client to let you know when it’s finished. > > If it’s taking a long time ask something like, "What's happening now?” If it's just taking a while that's fine. If things ever seem to have stopped, there might be another part getting involved. Ask again, "[[F4 — Feel Toward|How do you feel toward the part?]]" re-establish the connection, help them unblend if they have to, and things should move along again. ##### The Ritual ###### Step 1 Ask them, "Where do you feel it in or around your body?" ###### Step 2 Ask them if they would like to release it, or even just some of it.[^1] Protectors sometimes hesitate, in which case circle back to [[F6 — Learn their Fears]] and then return here. ###### Step 3 Ask them, "How would you like to release it?" Some parts know exactly what they want to do, but if they aren't sure, offer earth, wind, water, fire, light, or leave it up to them. Let the part choose how they want to let go.[^1] If an [[💡 Exiles|exile]] doesn’t want to let go of it, ask if they'll put it in a box nearby for a second second and see how they feel — they don't have to give it up and can take it back at any time, just keep it safe in the box. They might feel relief and not want it back. They might want it back, and that’s okay.[^3] ###### Step 4 However they want to release it, just let them do it. You can use your breath or body to release them, if that feels right.[^2] Let them take as long as they need. ###### Step 5 When a burden is released, it’s common for parts to change or even transform into their authentic self. If they hold other burdens, they might change a little or not at all, and that's okay — it doesn't minimize what's just happened. [[🔑 One part can have multiple burdens]]. Ask if there's more, invite them to check their body to see if there are others, anything they don’t want anymore. If the part doesn't know how to let go of their burden, they may not feel ready or completely safe to let it go, or there might be other parts interfering.[^3] ###### After the Ritual Check in with them. How are they feeling? Ask if they're ready for the next step: [[💡 Invitation]] [^1]: [[📖 ✅ IFS Online Circle]] Month 3: Working with Exiles & The Trauma Behind the Rage - Unpacking the Steps of Healing Part 1 & 2 [^2]: [[📖 ✅ IFS Online Circle]] Month 6 - The Body & the Automation Nervous System & Putting it All Together - Month 6 with Pam Krause [^3]: [[📖 ✅ IFS Online Circle]] Month 3: Working with Exiles & The Trauma Behind the Rage - Month 3 with Richard Schwartz