Step 3 or 4 of 💡 The IFS Process
Previous step: 💡 Witnessing or 💡 Retrieval

An unburdening is a ritual which allows exiles to release the 💡 Burdens 🪨 they carry.^[1] It often takes about 20-30 minutes, but take as long as you need.

Ask them, "Where do you feel it in or around your body?"

Ask them if they would like to release it, or even just some of it.^[1-1]

Protectors sometimes hesitate, in which case circle back to F6 — Learn their Fears and then return here.

Ask them, "How would you like to release it?"

Some parts know exactly what they want to do, but if they aren't sure, offer earth, wind, water, fire, light, or leave it up to them. Let the part choose how they want to let go.^[1-2]

If an exile doesn’t want to let go of it, ask if they'll put it in a box nearby for a second second and see how they feel — they don't have to give it up and can take it back at any time, just keep it safe in the box. They might feel relief and not want it back. They might want it back, and that’s okay.^[2]

However they want to release it, just let them do it. You can use your breath or body to release them, if that feels right.^[3] Let them take as long as they need.

When a burden is released, it’s common for parts to change or even transform into their authentic self. If they hold other burdens, they might change a little or not at all, and that's okay — it doesn't minimize what's just happened.

🔑 One part can have multiple burdens. Ask if there's more, invite them to check their body to see if there are others, anything they don’t want anymore.

If the part doesn't know how to let go of their burden, they may not feel ready or completely safe to let it go, or there might be other parts interfering.^[2-1]

Check in with them. How are they feeling? Ask if they're ready for the next step: 💡 Invitation